I feel like writing.

Hi, blog, how are you?

I feel like writing, but I don't know what I want to write. Actually, I don't really want to write, I just feel like typing a lot. Maybe I should go find a game or something to play. Or maybe I should actually start to edit that stupid NaNoWriMo novel.

Oh, by the way, my coupon for a free print is totally going to expire before the thing is ready to print. Meh.

Note to self:

It's called the "Taxicaster". In case you forget again.

Someone PLEASE

Someone please explain to me who this douche is that keeps watching me every time I go to the front page of YouTube...

Oh em gee!

That is like epic for the win!! My sister still has this jewelry box in the house even though she hasn't lived here for like... probably around ten years now. And she has said that I can raid the jewelry box and take anything I want since she's cleaned out all the good stuff by now. Well, I never really got around to it, but I just randomly got an idea in my head that I want to make some steampunk crap, and the best way to make steampunk crap is to locate all the junk you can find and glue it all together, basically. So I finally decided to raid the jewelry box. Now, I didn't find anything in there that I could really use.

But you know what I did find?

I totally found my dad's class ring from high school! It's pretty sweet, actually! And the sad thing is that it totally fits me :) That's actually pretty epic... I need to show him when he gets home. I don't think he even knows it's still hanging around here!!

Veggie?

Theoretically, I'd love to be a vegetarian. Realistically, though, I like sushi too much.

ARGH!

I don't want to write about juvenile delinquency, I WANT TO WRITE THAT CON ARTIST STORY!!!

A tip for professors

Okay, let's say you're a college professor. Here's a few tips so that your students don't start to hate you.

DO NOT assign seventeen study questions per chapter on three different chapters... to be done in one week. That's 51 questions. And it's only worth 15 points? TOTAL? I mean, ALL of those study questions lumped together at the end of the semester... 15 points? So not worth it.

Also, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make your assignments clear. So far, you've told me that you want a "Presentation", which to me means that I just have to get up and talk. Crap. But then I'm supposed to have a three page paper to go with it. Fine, I probably should have expected that. But then you hand out this "Report Format" sheet listing all the questions you want answered, with incredibly ambiguous statements that don't even apply to the article you assigned to me. What do you want? Do you want me to teach the chapter? Do you want a summary of it? Do you want me to fill out the questions you asked in list format? TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!!!

And don't just read straight out of the book. You're literally standing up front, reading the text out of the book. I can do that. I'm paying thousands of dollars for a bloody education, and you're requiring that I attend every class. So you better put some new information into your lesson, or I seriously don't see the point of coming.

Also, don't ask personal questions of your students. "What reactions did you see in yourself as you were reading the article?" is not going to be answered by those of us who are reserved and non-trusting. Yet I know you're going to take points off for not answering it.

Since we're on the subject, don't ask me to psychoanalyze myself as a class exercise, listing off all of my character flaws, and what I like best about myself. I get that you worked as a counselor. I get that you're convinced that we need to relate to people. Trust me, I know, I'm working on that. But your job as the *counselor* was to fix people. Your current job as the *professor* is to teach. Not to fix. So I will not reveal my soul to the whole class just to finish your stupid in-class assignment, which you're not grading anyway.

That is all for now.

ALSO

If you're bored one night at 3:00 AM and you decide to call a phone chat line, chances are that you will NOT be talking to a sexy cougar in skimpy undies who is dancing on a pole conveniently located in her bedroom.

Odd what you notice...

There are some weird TV commercials on at 3:00 AM. Especially on Spike. I never knew there were so many stripper bars around here!

Also... Sin city is a very pretty movie... but I'm still not clear on what the plot is. But I don't think that really matters.

I won't go to bed, I won't, I won't!

I'm not doing my homework, either.

A

-Available: Yes.
-Age: 20
-Annoyances: People who turn down the radio to make you listen to them talk.
-Afternoons or mornings: Middle of the freaking night.

B

-Best Friend: Becky.
-Beer: No thank you.
-Birthday: August 23.
-Best month: December
-Best day: Monday (Yeah, I said it. Monday. Castle is on!)

C
- Crush: Alex. So sue me.
-Candy: Hershey's.
-Color: Green.
-Chocolate or Vanilla: Yes please.
-Criminal Record: Nope. That'd make it really hard to get a job in my field.

D

-Day or Night: Night
-Dream Vehicle: I like that dark grey VW bug I saw a while ago.
-Dream: Acting.

E

-Easiest Person To Talk To: Tari! (Alex is easy to talk to, when I'm not freaking out.)
-Eggs: With buttered toast. No eggs.
-End of the line: We've arrived at the north pole??
-Everday Routine (briefly): Wake up. Goof off. Sleep.

F

-First Crush: Ha! Seth XD
-Fuck vs Feck: Gorram.
-Fave piece of clothing: Shiny pirate t-shirt.
-Fave song: One Believer by Diamond Rio.
-Future: I still don't have my jetpack.

G

-Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: Worms.
-Giver or Taker: Giver.
-Greatest moment in life: Marty Roe serenading me with Norma Jean Riley.
-Gold or Silver: Silver.

H

-Hair: I forget if I brushed it today or not.
-Happy: Meh. Hungry. Thirsty. A little lonely. But I'm good.
-Hat: The funkiest one I can find. Fedoras and bowlers.
-Hugs: Alex gives great hugs ^_^



I

-Ice Cream: Moose tracks or cookie dough. (Yes, I had to stop to think about the spelling for cookie)
-Instrument: Piano. Alex plays the pia-- Stop it, Rio.
-Is there anything you would tell yourself 3 years ago: Don't accept that job at JCPenney. And get your butt in college.
-Invisible for a Day: No thank you. Let's try visible for a day.

J
-Jewelry: Enough to open a shop.
-Job: Unemployed in Greenland.
-Jeans: Gap. Curvy, short, size 8. Dark indigo.

K
-King for a day: Sequel to Dr Horrible and Serenity. And Nathan Fillion sitting by my side.

O

-One Wish: Ale-- .... <.< >.>
-One Phobia: Spiders.
-One song: Life is a Highway. Rascal Flatts or Chris LeDoux. I don't care, I like them both.
-One love: Nathan Fillion!

P
-Part Of Your Personality That You Like: I make a very good shoulder to cry on.
-Physical Feature on yourself you like: ... well, there's nothing I *hate*.
-Physical Feature on opposite sex you like: Smile.

Q

-Quick or Slow: Eh?
-Queen for the day: Sequel for Dr Horrible and-- wait. What?

R
-
Reason 2 Smile: This
-Reason 2 Cry: This

S
-Song You Last Heard: Ireland's Call, Celtic Thunder.
-Song You Are Hearing: This

W

-Worst Habits: Procrastination.
-Worst Day: Saturday. Nothing's on TV.
-Worst thing you own: Backstreet Boys Greatest Hits.
-Why?: Because.

Aw.

He's offline now. Sad.

Speaking of phones...

I've always prided myself on not being one of those girls to stare at the phone and *will* it to ring... and be That Guy.

Just now, I found myself staring at the Online list of my Facebook friends, *willing* That Guy to start a chat with me.

Great. I'm one of them.

New Phone?

What is it about a new phone that makes you think it's going to ring more than the old one did?

Name generators... for the lose?

Just wanted to say that I was using a name generator to try to pick out a name for a secondary character, and this name generator is based on data from the US census, so just typical names.

It came up with this one.

Major Dong Park

Um... yeah, I don't think I'll be going with that one. Thanks though.

In case you were wondering...

The taste of dish soap lasts for about two days. FYI.

Also, I'm leaving for FLORIDA on Friday, so if you don't hear from me for a week... you probably won't care anyway, because you are a non-existent reader and I'm really just talking to myself here :)

Though, if I'm talking to myself by updating this blog, then technically you WILL hear from me over the course of the week, because you ARE me, and --

Yeah. Maybe I should get some sleep. And possibly check the expiration date on the milk.

Still more dish soap

It lasts at least 25 hours.

Dish Soap chronicles

The dish soap flavour lasts at least 15 hours, and we're still going.

Eat your heart out, Stride gum!!

Revenge of the Dish Soap

And under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you EVER mix the dish soap flavour with toothpaste.

Dish soap flavour outlasts...

Yes, dish soap flavour is very resilient. It stays around through:

Water
Hot tea
Pizza
Chocolate milk
Orbit gum
Garlic dinner rolls

It's amazing! I swear, Willy Wonka invented this flavour, it never goes away! Call right now, and we'll double the offer!

Dish soap flavour lasts longer than Stride gum

Tip for future reference. If you're going to reuse a straw, you should probably wash it out, but for the love of all that is good... make sure that ALL of the soap is out of the straw before you use it. Even the residue of the soap left on the inside is enough to make the nastiest hot chocolate you've ever tasted. Remember: dish soap is very concentrated, so a little is all it takes.

Also, in case you're wondering, the flavour stays in your mouth for at least eleven hours, but it may be more. And it also makes all food and water taste nasty. Actually, you're probably better off not eating or drinking since this only produces more saliva which is what got flavoured by the soap in the first place.

Look, just... don't reuse straws, okay?

It's tomorrow.

Deviant behavior... and I pick to do my paper on deaf people and their culture?

... yeah, I'm really going to start regretting this around page... oh... four, aren't I? Right around the time that I run out of crap to say.

This is going to be fun.

This is due on Monday, right? Wonderful.

EDIT (2/28/10) I actually made it two lines into page five before I finally rammed my head on my keyboard.

Last one for today

I swear. I'll be done after this.

I set down my laptop for a second to go get my sign language books, and when I came back, my cat had 'helped' me with some of my writing.

Thank you, kitty.

I can multitask.

Yes, I AM doing my paper while watching Apolo skate, Tari, don't be such a smart ass. I can do two things at once.

Well... three, since I'm blogging too.

Okay, you win. I'm putting the blog away. But I'm NOT turning off the TV!

But- but- but-

But I love Apolo 0.0 I don't want him disqualified...

Revising the English Language.

Okay, we've already decided that the word "Gubernatorial" is now known as "Governatorial".

I have also decided that the word "handful" is stupid, as is "mouthful". I mean... Hand. Full. Handfull. Mouth. Full. Mouthfull. So, once again "handfull" and "mouthfull" are now the correct forms of these words.

While we're at it, I dunno what is with this alternate capitalization thing lately. It's all Steve Jobs' fault. "iPod", "iPhone", "iMac", "iPad"..... seriously, Steve? So, until further notice, I will not be participating in this idiotic AltCaps thing. But "Ipod" and "Iphone" look just as stupid, so I will no longer be capitalizing anything in the word. "ipod", "iphone". The other two are just too stupid to even mention, so the "Mac" and the "New gigantic iphone for people with fat fingers" are the new names.

So sayeth Rio, let it be so.

Stupid words?

This just in: "Gubernatorial" is the stupidest word in the English language. I hereby declare the word to be "Governatorial", since that's really what it means.

New rule,

Finish a page: Get to eat one chocolate.

Finish a paper: Get to take a break and watch 3 to 5 episodes of CTFxC.

Finish all homework: Get to sleep.

Finish sleeping: Get to play Tomb Raider or Nine Dragons.

Seriously, Jack, really?

I've been staring at this computer screen and reading the most boring legal junk in the universe since Friday. Pretty much every waking moment. Honestly, I don't know how you crazy Warcrack people do it. I don't think I want to even look at my computer for a week after this.

Either that, or I want to play some serious amounts of Tomb Raider or Nine Dragons or something.

Aw... I miss playing Tomb Raider... I wanna play... want to play Tomb Raider... have to do paper... can't think... so tired... need coffee...

[Rio falls asleep on her own keyboard.]

Attention Defic-- OH SHINY!

I'm trying to get this paper done. Really.

But... but... I need to get caught up on all of the episodes of The Guild!!! They're only like six minutes long each... I have enough time for a few episodes, right? RIGHT??

... so, let me ask you this. If I'm a fan of Dr. Horrible... and now The Guild... and I read more webcomics than syndicated comics... have I completely gone over to the Geek Side?

I frigging love the English language

I just found out what you call a group of aardvarks.

They are called an aarmory of aardvarks.

Isn't that epic??

OH!!!

I WAS GOING TO CHECK MY E-MAILS!!!

Who am I? Where am I? What is all this? Huh?

Okay, so I'm catching up on all the CTFxC videos that I've missed on YouTube. Apparently I've missed more than I thought. Almost a whole month. It's gonna take me forever to watch all of these. But whatever.

While watching this video, I am winding a ball of yarn which I had tangled beyond hope. Winding... winding... winding... yeah. If you've ever wound yarn before, you know that it's very repetetive and gets really boring unless you're doing something else (like watching CTFxC), until your yarn slips off the ball and then you wind up with this miniature tangle that you have to sort out.

Anyway.

Watching CTFxC, winding yarn. All of a sudden, I think of something really important. Something I want to do or write down or check on. I'm like... three feet away from the end of the yarn, so I wind the last of it, tuck the end in so it doesn't unravel, pause the CTFxC video, and...

...completely forget what I was going to do.

Yeah. I got nothing. Nothing at all.

Is this normal? I'm twenty years old, for Mandalor's sake...

As of this moment, I have yet to remember what it was I was going to do.

Packing?

What does one wear to Florida in winter? Hm. You'd figure that I would remember...

HA!!!

That I'd remember XD

Hahaha.... hee hee... ho... I crack myself up.

I think it was short sleeved t-shirts and a light-ish hoodie for mornings and evenings. OH! Lots and lots of card decks, because we stayed up until like 2:00 AM playing Egyptian Ratscrew. Imma have to teach everyone to play Big Twos... Yeah. Books. Lots of books. Notebook, let's not forget that. BUG SPRAY LIKE WHOA. That camp is like BUG CENTRAL. Those work gloves... digital camera, video camera, chargers, cell phone... CDs! Hum... I wonder what CDs I should bring... Diamond Rio, totally. It's not a trip without Diamond Rio. Should I bring Glenn Miller? 'cause I'm just that awesome. Hm. I shall have to think this over...

Whoo!

Spring break in FLORIDA, Y'ALL! ^_^

Argh.

I can't brain today. I have the dumb.

Phil Harris died?!?

Holy crap!!! Phil Harris died? Dude... that's crazy...

Story here: http://topgelato.com/captain-phil-harris-of-cornelia-marie-dies-at-53/13153



More reliable info here, direct from the source: http://www.corneliamarie.com/ (messages from the Harris boys. Warning, though, the site has been overloaded since the news broke, so you can't get past the front page yet)

Prolly should learn...

You know, it might be a good idea for me to learn how to write the beginning and end of a story. I've never been all that good at those, so I just sorta write the middle. Somehow that ends up working out fairly well for me. Well... I have like, zero readers on Fanfiction.net, but I guarantee that it's because I write military-comedy-tragedy stories with all original characters, and there's no place for that on FF.net. Now, if I wrote fanfiction shipping two established characters, screwed with the continuity of the established canon, and wrote just general fluff about these two falling in love and kissing while standing in a field of wildflowers, then I'd be a really popular writer.

Unfortunately, if I wrote that sort of stuff, I'd need a new computer after each story that I wrote on account of barfing on the keyboard.

And...

To the MedCo employee who just had to deal with my mother on the phone, I sincerely apologize. If I knew your name, I'd send the largest box of chocolates ever.

Yeah, she's always like that. I'm trying to teach her that not everyone is out to get her, and that "I can't talk to you about your husband's billing information" law was not set up with the sole purpose of stonewalling her personally. But she still thinks that it was made just to frustrate her. I'm trying to teach her, but honestly, it's like trying to teach an ape to recite Shakespeare.

Box of chocolates coming your way. Hope the rest of your day sucks less, and that your boss gives you a nice long lunch break for dealing with my mother.

You deserve hazard pay.

A test

I'm going to give you a coupon for a free item at your favorite store.

Okay? Okay.

Now, the fine print prevents me from giving you this coupon if you have more than $20 on any credit card. Do you?

You do?

I'm sorry, you don't qualify for the coupon. I apologize for taking up your time.

...

...

Now, did you feel like killing me? Because you felt entitled to that free thing? Like it's YOURS, and how dare I take it away from you?

If you answered yes to any of those questions... THEN YOU ARE NEVER... EVER... TO HANDLE BUSINESS WITH ANY EMPLOYEE. Have your husband, your kid, your aunt, your neighbor... ANYONE handle it. But if YOU think that every employee is out to get you, and you can't handle any sort of roadblock because of rules that the employee can't control, and you can't control your own temper... well, sit in your house and knit, because you have no business being near the public. Ever.

Interesting fact

My mom's doctor wanted her to abort me because he was convinced that I had brain damage.

I don't get it

But I never do, ya know? I mean, I've never lost anyone that's been really close to me. My grandpa, yeah, but that was two... three... four... I don't know how many years after his stroke. And he was miserable. So that was okay. But I've never had anyone really close to me die for no reason at all. So, for some reason, it's always worse for me when it's someone that I didn't know. It's that lady in drama club that I talked to sometimes, but never really made friends with, and I can't remember one conversation we had, even though I knew that I talked to her. It's a boy that I had seen across the aisle in church. I thought he was awesome 'cause he'd wear those tie things in his collar like country music singers wore before the 90s. This time around, it was a classmate. I finally found her picture in the obituaries, which was pretty good, considering that I only had an approxomate time of death, and only knew her first name. And looking at her picture... I still can't remember her. I don't remember hearing her say anything, I never talked to her, I don't remember her coming in early or late... just... nothing. The paper says she died "unexpectedly", but says nothing more than that. The professor said something about suicide, but it doesn't fit. But then... isn't it the ones that you don't notice?

That's my issue. That's why it's worse when it's someone that I didn't know. I have memories of my grandpa. I knew that he was miserable there at the end. I knew it was coming. I can remember the good times. I can tell the stories about him and his left handed pen pal.

But when it's someone I didn't know? It's like... I feel guilty about not knowing them. Especially like the guy from church. Because I had seen him. I did want to say that I liked those little collar things, but I never did. It would have been weird. You don't walk up to people and say stuff like that. I mean... when it's someone that I could have talked to, that I thought about talking to...

It's like I say. Maybe if I keep talking, nothing bad will happen. I mean, if it was suicide, chances are, one classmate wouldn't have made a huge difference. But you never know. I just don't like knowing that there was someone really near in proximity to me, and I never even saw them. That I have nothing to remember. Like some sort of footprint in the sand that'll go away with the next tide. I have this writerly need to know who the person was that made the footprint, so when the print is gone...

Yeah. Sorry if the whole sand thing was stupid. I'll just... yeah. I'll stop now. I sound crazy.

Hee hee...

Pandora radio...

In Soviet Russia... radio listens to you!!

..... did I already make that joke once? I feel like I did...

A theory

So, just got started on writing the essay portion of my take-home mid-term (accelerated class. that's why I'm already at the mid-term). And of course, I am having the worst time concentrating. Really. I've watched portions of about 3 episodes of NCIS, listened to the Doctor Horrible soundtrack, checked on Facebook, and scoured the internet for pictures of Jimmy Olander's taxi-cab guitar.

See, this is why I can never get anything done.

So, finally I turn on some music. And now I can concentrate. (Except that I'm writing a blog instead, but... stay with me for a sec.)

So, you know about that study they did? Dunno how big it was. Anyway. They had two groups of students take a test. In one classroom, they played rock music. In the other room, they played classical. And, of course, the room with the classical music did much better. So, they theorize, rock music rots your brain, and classical music makes you smarter.

But see, I've got a different theory. And remind me to test this one out if I ever have to do a psychological experiment or something crazy.

When I have any sort of schoolwork to do, whether it's a test or a paper or whatever, I can't concentrate. But music helps. But it has to be specific music. It can't have any lyrics (at least in English), and it can't have a theme that I know well (i.e. the Indiana Jones theme, the Star Wars theme, or any of the Pirates soundtracks). Two things happen: My brain won't focus on the schoolwork completely, so it focuses on the music. If I don't have music to focus on, that's when I wind up on Facebook or watching NCIS.

Does that make sense? I need to provide my brain with a distraction it can think about while still allowing me to work. But if it has English lyrics, I end up listening to the story, or singing along. If it is a theme I know well, I'm humming along with it, or following the melody that I know so well.

So. That's kinda the best way I can explain my little theory. Did the students listening to the rock music do poorly because they were listening to the words, and couldn't concentrate on the written words in front of them? And did the students listening to classical music do better because the music kept their brains from straying too far, yet didn't distract them with lyrics or a hummable melody?

By the way, the music I'm listening to? Rap music. In Hebrew. Really.

Martial Arts films

Martial Arts films are so cheesy, it's hilarious. I think I'm a fan.

Hm.

Yeah, see, now, this is going to be one of those useful things during interviews, you know? "Thank you for taking the time to answer our questions. We'll consider your application. But one final thing, we would like you to complete a sample brief for us. Thank you much."

But reading cases still kinda sucks. I'd rather be crocheting. I got a new book. 33% off coupon at Borders. Stitch and Bitch, the Happy Hooker. I love yarn books with questionable names. There's something fun about them. It makes a rather girly project seem a bit more sinister. Like embroidery with curse words. Sundresses with combat boots. Harley-Davidson jackets in infant sizes. It's like that. *sigh* I'm gonna need some more yarn. Ooh, I want that bamboo stuff I found at Hobby Lobby! Totally soft. Seriously, bamboo. Don't ask me how you make yarn out of bamboo, 'cause I dunno. I just know that it's the softest most awesome thing ever. More expensive than those acrylic yarns I've been buying, obviously.

Now, Rio, what are you supposed to be doing?

... writing a case brief?

Yes. And what are you doing?

... blogging about yarn?

And what should you NOT be doing?

... blogging about yarn....

So you're going to...

...stop blogging about yarn and get back to my homework.

GOOD! Now, say goodbye, hit the publish button, and go back to reading that case.

Last one, then I'm done

So, I had been scouring my textbook for any ideas on how to write this stupid brief, and as I said, there was flubbing nothing there.

So, thanks to my awesome college learning, thousands of dollars for a degree, and professors with extensive knowledge on criminal justice, I did what any intelligent book-learned college student would do.

I Googled it.

Well lookie there. Step by step instructions on how to write a brief.

So glad I paid for tuition.

The same issue, only a little more in depth

Okay, so, I have to write a case brief for my constitutional law class. Only, the professor never actually said how to do that. He gave us a page number in the book that has an example of a case law... supposedly. But of course, it's a textbook, so all it actually says is "When writing a brief, take good notes, 'cause they get kinda long." Not in those words, but you get the idea. An example of what it's supposed to look like? Oh no, that would be helpful, and we have to charge extra for that.

Seriously, I hate it when professors do that!! "Do this complicated legal paper that you've never seen before, and make it good 'cause you want an A."

Seriously. I can't get a job in the criminal justice system because I have no idea what a case brief looks like. They want me to go to school to learn this stuff. Yet when I go to school, they expect me to already know about the stuff that I'm learning. How in the hell does that help me? Where does this elusive knowledge come from? Because I certainly haven't found this Fountain of Smart that these jobs and colleges think I've found.

Here's a concept. When I'm paying you thousands of dollars to teach me what the hell I'm supposed to be doing.... teach me what the hell I'm supposed to be doing!

Good job picking a major...

Why, you ask, would I pick criminal justice as my major if I hate courts and lawyers so much?

...

yeah, I'll get back to you on that.

How to deal with employees

The Real Reasons Your Business Can't Get Done Over the Phone

1. Always remember that it is the employee's fault. Not the company, not the privacy laws, and not *all* of the employees. It is that one employee who answers the phone to deal with your problems. It is HER fault PERSONALLY that you are having these issues. And don't forget: She is sitting at her desk, wearing her headset, plotting on how best to screw up your life. Not everyone else's lives... YOUR life. Because she hates you personally.

2. Being nice doesn't get any business done. When you are nice to the person on the phone, he thinks you are weak, and won't listen to you at all. He then laughs with all his buddies while telling stories about you around the water cooler. Remember that yelling always gets things done. Because when you yell at an employee, his only thought is "Oh, my! This customer is enraged! How ever will I live with myself? I have to help her, or I will spend the rest of my life wallowing in misery!". And remember to yell a lot, because it's much more effective. The employee will not be thinking, "Just get off the phone, bitch."

3. Remember to keep repeating how you thought things worked. It doesn't matter that there are privacy laws that prevent employees from giving you someone else's info over the phone. If *you* thought that they could give you any info you asked for, then that's how things are. Keep insisting this point! Because there's no real privacy law; the employee is just making it up so she can make your life miserable (because remember, she's out to get you).

4. Threaten to have the employee fired. Because remember: You have that kind of power. The world works because you allow them to, and it is a privilege that you can take away any time you choose. And this phone job is the most important thing in the world to the employee. His entire life is centered around answering phones all day. In fact, he doesn't have a home or a life or bills or a family or kids. He lives at that business, doesn't sleep, doesn't eat, doesn't pee, doesn't gossip with coworkers. Remember: All employees are robots. They live to do one task and never worry about anything else.

5. On occasion, even after you've followed all of these steps, your business still will not be done. Don't panic. You have one last ace up your sleeve. Threaten to never shop/do business there again!! This will be so miserable for the employee, and she will possibly ball up on the floor and cry. At this point in the conversation, she should be begging you not to leave the company, and will gladly give you a billion-dollar gift card to make up for the trouble. If, for some reason, your employee seems unfazed by this threat, then you must be prepared to follow through. You must now actually never shop there again. Take comfort in knowing that for the rest of that employee's miserable life, she will look back with remorse on the day that she lost such a fine customer. Her life will be in ruin, she will need to see a therapist, and will likely need to begin taking anti-depression drugs. You have gotten your point across. Bravo to you.

How could they treat you like this? You've always been such a good customer...

A question.

If Joss Whedon makes a film, and no one is around to see it, is it still a cult phenomenon?

... yes.

OOH! OOH! I KNOW!!

OOH! I KNOW WHERE THE BEGINNING IS!!! I KNOW WHERE TO START MY STORY!!! :D

Ugh.

School tomorrow. Drast. :(

Day two of editing

Well, editing was going pretty well until Windows crashed. And by crashed, I don't mean shut down and didn't save my last three paragraphs. I mean full crash, completely gone, had to reinstall windows. Yeah. Really. That happened yesterday. I saved all my files though, so it's all good. But still. I lost all my internet favorites *again*. Lovely.

But this has happened before, and it IS Windows, so I came prepared with a terabyte of backup hard drive. So HA.

Anyway. On to the arrangement of plot. See, the first chapter deals with Torin being bitten by the werewolf. It makes a great beginning, but it isn't very effective, you know? I mean, you've only just met this character, so it's not like you necessarily *care* that he's being bit. So... yeah. Wondering where to start now. But I'll get this arranged, no worries. One Note is helping. I've just discovered this program, and I heart it so far. I can rearrange plots right on my computer screen without having to copy and paste a bunch of crap... so it's nice. Helpful.

Yeah. So. Back to editing. I've got a deadline if I want to get this thing published.

And before you get all excited, I don't mean published published. Just printing out my free CreateSpace copy that I get for completing NaNoWriMo, but that coupon expires July 1st, so... yeah. Carry on.

Story writing and revision

Current short story count: 0

Heh. Yep. I keep trying, but nothing's coming. Where the heck do I normally come up with this stuff? Oh well.

I did get started on revising my NaNoWriMo novel. Hooray. So far I've deleted the opening sequence. There was nothing going on there, except my characters quoting random movie lines because they couldn't think of anything else to do. I had sort of an odd start to November :) Once they quit quoting lines, though, they started doing stuff. The second scene had Luke and Torin chasing a werewolf through the woods, Torin vowing to join a gym, and Luke yelling in German. Which is odd, 'cause he's not German. Anyway. That's what we're starting with now. Makes it a better beginning.

200 short stories in one year.

That is NOT a New Years resolution, by the way. It's the stupidest holiday ever, and yes, I'm including Valentines Day in there as well.

BUT! I'm bored, and I feel like doing something stupid, like setting some crazy goal, like 200 short stories in one year. I don't know why. I don't know where I'm going to get these story ideas. But I feel like it, so shut up.

I know. "In one year" sounds like a resolution. It ISN'T. It's just a convenient marker of the beginning and end of the year. If you don't believe me, I'll write a blog later detailing exactly why it's the stupidest holiday ever.

Now on to the questions.

Wait, why?
Because I'm bored, it's late, and I was up late last night making fun of the hypocrites and their resolutions, so I'm a little loopy.

Why 200? Why not 365?
Yeah right. Like I'm going to write one story every day? No way. 200 leaves me 165 days to play with. That gives me leeway for stuff like finals week, crazy studies, visits from family, and those insane thirty days of November known as NaNoWriMo.

Define short story. Is there a set amount of words? Are you going to do one theme? Will these stories be related?
No, no, and no. I once wrote a short story that was forty-six words long. It had characters who had personality, it had a beginning, a middle, and a (typical Rio cliffhanger) ending. It totally counts. And if I'm gonna do something stupid like write 200 stories in a year, I'm not going to put up any restrictions like word count, genre, or making them one common theme. That's just crazy talk.

So, what do you get if you manage to write 200 stories in a year?
............... a cookie?