I'm having an argument with Microsoft, and I'm losing. It's correcting my grammar! MINE! Why is it doing that? I mean, there I am, happily hitting my stride in this frenning English paper I have to write, and then this wobbly green line pops up under my sentence and says "This sentence is a fragment. Please consider rewriting it." I'm looking at this sentence upways and downways (and inventing new words while I'm at it), and I don't see how it's a fragment.
Don't tell anyone, but I'm trying to diagram the sentence (aw crap, it DID come in handy...). It's fine! *sigh* Don't get smart with me, Word! I am human, you are machine! Bow to me!
Well, I added a comma to the first part of the sentence, and it seems to have fixed the problem. That was just weird. But... but... but there's too many commas, man! It didn't NEED one!
Aw, crap, that does look better.
Now, come on. Since when did my word programs suddenly get smarter than me? This is stupid. I mean, how does it know the difference between subject and verb, anyway? Seriously, is it diagramming this as I'm typing?
Oh, and just now, I had to use spell check on "diagramming". Who knew there were two M's? Why is it the machines know more about grammar and spelling than humans? It didn't used to be this way. Heck, in the past, you'd take a piece of chalk, draw a buffalo being hunted, and that meant... well... that a buffalo was hunted. Nothing complicated about that. No rules, no spelling... just a picture of a buffalo. Can we go back to those days?
Pardon me. I need to go fix my document. Word is telling me I'm using too many comma splices, stop using so much slang, stand up straight, don't slouch in your seat, don't slurp your soup, and give all your money to Bill Gates. Yessir, Mr Word, sir.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment