22 December, 2009
How To Become a Celebrity
Step 1: Star in a bad movie.
Step 2: Start doing drugs.
Step 3: Be caught using those drugs in a public place. Get lots of media attention.
Step 4: Milk that attention for all it's worth.
Step 5: Star in another bad movie.
Step 6: Make a music video. (Singing talent optional)
Step 7: Make a fragrance.
Step 8: Make a clothing line for Walmart.
Step 9: Stop making movies and dedicate yourself to doing commercials for something they pay you to be passionate about.
Step 10: Die of an overdose.
Result: Go down in history as one of the greatest actors of all time.
Step 2: Start doing drugs.
Step 3: Be caught using those drugs in a public place. Get lots of media attention.
Step 4: Milk that attention for all it's worth.
Step 5: Star in another bad movie.
Step 6: Make a music video. (Singing talent optional)
Step 7: Make a fragrance.
Step 8: Make a clothing line for Walmart.
Step 9: Stop making movies and dedicate yourself to doing commercials for something they pay you to be passionate about.
Step 10: Die of an overdose.
Result: Go down in history as one of the greatest actors of all time.
21 December, 2009
Another secret
I won't pass by the staircase at night when it's completely pitch black because of the monsters that live in the dark.
20 December, 2009
13 December, 2009
Would you kill Batman?
So, let's say that they're making a third Batman movie starring Christian Bale. Only, let's say that Christian Bale has decided that he doesn't want to play Batman anymore, and this will be his last time playing the role. Rather than find a new Batman, the studio decides that they won't be making anymore movies. Well, since they won't be making anymore movies, they decide that they may as well kill Batman.
Does this make sense to you? 'cause it doesn't make any sense to me!!
Why can't you kill Batman? HELLO? Batman is a legend, and he's been around for around a thousand years! (In case you hadn't figured out, I'm not actually talking about Batman here. I'd be referring to another legend. Carry on, then.) Just because YOUR measly little studio can't make any more Batman movies doesn't mean you can kill the legend! You can't kill legends! I mean... that's.... that's just something... you.... YOU DON'T DO THAT.
Look, not saying that the series was the most terrific thing ever written. In fact, the show got rather cheesy in the third season. When your leading female actor leaves the show, you can't kill off the character that is pretty much central to the story. You send her away, yes, but you don't kill her. Granted, it did make some interesting plot lines going for the bad guy, yes. But still. And by the way, the new girl they got to replace her? The blonde? HATE HER. Seriously, so annoying.
But back to the issue at hand. I mean, the legend goes on for years, covering... uh... Batman's whole life! It's well established that he's a very old very white-haired man when he dies. And you're just gonna screw with that? You're gonna play with the continuity like that?
Who do you think you are, George Lucas???
When your series ends, you have your legendary character, your Batman, going off into the forest to continue his fight. Because the legend must always continue. What you DON'T do is have him poisoned, then have him wander off to die alone while hallucinating about his dead girlfriend. Seriously. You just don't.
You don't.
Does this make sense to you? 'cause it doesn't make any sense to me!!
Why can't you kill Batman? HELLO? Batman is a legend, and he's been around for around a thousand years! (In case you hadn't figured out, I'm not actually talking about Batman here. I'd be referring to another legend. Carry on, then.) Just because YOUR measly little studio can't make any more Batman movies doesn't mean you can kill the legend! You can't kill legends! I mean... that's.... that's just something... you.... YOU DON'T DO THAT.
Look, not saying that the series was the most terrific thing ever written. In fact, the show got rather cheesy in the third season. When your leading female actor leaves the show, you can't kill off the character that is pretty much central to the story. You send her away, yes, but you don't kill her. Granted, it did make some interesting plot lines going for the bad guy, yes. But still. And by the way, the new girl they got to replace her? The blonde? HATE HER. Seriously, so annoying.
But back to the issue at hand. I mean, the legend goes on for years, covering... uh... Batman's whole life! It's well established that he's a very old very white-haired man when he dies. And you're just gonna screw with that? You're gonna play with the continuity like that?
Who do you think you are, George Lucas???
When your series ends, you have your legendary character, your Batman, going off into the forest to continue his fight. Because the legend must always continue. What you DON'T do is have him poisoned, then have him wander off to die alone while hallucinating about his dead girlfriend. Seriously. You just don't.
You don't.
08 December, 2009
A list
I like lists. And I'm bored, and avoiding music homework.
Random facts about me.
1. I know someone that was on the Grammys.
2. I am sort of a math geek, I guess.
3. I sing with a British accent.
4. Very badly.
5. Since the Bad Channel killed Stargate, my favorite TV show is now Castle.
6. And Nathan Fillion has surpassed Matthew Broderick as my favorite actor.
7. I'm thinking about sending away for my own Billy Mays sticker.
8. Also wondering where I could put him.
9. And wondering if I could get like 20 to put up in various places.
10. Keeping one for myself, obviously.
11. I miss Billy Mays.
12. And I still insist that the Sham Wow guy killed him.
13. Speaking of conspiracies, Roswell was totally a cover up.
14. But not of aliens.
15. Yeah, just out testing secret aircraft. We do crap like that.
16. Also speaking of conspiracies, Oswald acted alone.
17. I know American Sign Language.
18. I think I'm "conversational", though I don't know the difference between "conversational" and "fluent".
19. And I don't feel like looking it up.
20. Every time I look something up, I go to Wikipedia.
21. I start all my research for research papers on Wikipedia and use their links.
22. I can't spell "cookie".
23. "Wookiee", however, I can spell correctly every time.
24. I insist that the real spelling of "handful" is "handfull". I mean, hello? Hand. Full. Handfull.
25. And yes, I still maintain that the correct pronunciation is "DAY-ih-tee".
26. I only passed math class because I didn't pay attention to the professor.
28. I don't like normal music.
29. I like Irish music, country music that isn't Kenny Chesney, Sugarland, or ... well... George Strait.
30. But I don't admit that I don't like George Strait, 'cause you just can't say that.
31. Even though I just said it to the whole darned internet.
32. Doesn't matter. No one reads this anyhow.
33. No, I have no illusions about anyone ever reading this blog. I just like to talk to all of you imaginary readers.
34. It's like talking to the boxes at JCP.
35. I think I learned to make lists from Skippy.
36. Because my lists never quite make sense.
37. It's probably been two hours since I last wrote anything on my music concert report.
27. I moved number 27 over here... just to see if you were paying attention.
38. Yeah, I'm bored.
39. I feel like writing a short story, but I don't know what about.
40. I feel like writing about my jester, but seeing as I killed him off in the last story...
41. Unless I make him a zombie. But then that creates a whole new set of problems.
42. I left my Christmas lights up all year.
43. And I never stopped playing Christmas music from last December.
44. I hate New Years.
45. In fact, it is my least favorite holiday.
46. My second least favorite is Valentines Day.
47. By the way, when I take over the world, those two holidays will be the first to go.
48. They will be replaced with Star Wars Day on May 4th (As in May The Fourth be with you), and International Talk Like a Pirate Day.
49. If you need me to tell you when International Talk Like a Pirate Day is, get off this blog.
50. Right now.
51. No, you can't look it up on Wikipedia.
52. Or Google it.
53. Just go.
54. It's better this way.
55.I probably should get to work on that paper.
56. Yeah. I'm gonna do that now.
57. And I'm just going to stop this list at 57, 'cause that's a really random number.
Random facts about me.
1. I know someone that was on the Grammys.
2. I am sort of a math geek, I guess.
3. I sing with a British accent.
4. Very badly.
5. Since the Bad Channel killed Stargate, my favorite TV show is now Castle.
6. And Nathan Fillion has surpassed Matthew Broderick as my favorite actor.
7. I'm thinking about sending away for my own Billy Mays sticker.
8. Also wondering where I could put him.
9. And wondering if I could get like 20 to put up in various places.
10. Keeping one for myself, obviously.
11. I miss Billy Mays.
12. And I still insist that the Sham Wow guy killed him.
13. Speaking of conspiracies, Roswell was totally a cover up.
14. But not of aliens.
15. Yeah, just out testing secret aircraft. We do crap like that.
16. Also speaking of conspiracies, Oswald acted alone.
17. I know American Sign Language.
18. I think I'm "conversational", though I don't know the difference between "conversational" and "fluent".
19. And I don't feel like looking it up.
20. Every time I look something up, I go to Wikipedia.
21. I start all my research for research papers on Wikipedia and use their links.
22. I can't spell "cookie".
23. "Wookiee", however, I can spell correctly every time.
24. I insist that the real spelling of "handful" is "handfull". I mean, hello? Hand. Full. Handfull.
25. And yes, I still maintain that the correct pronunciation is "DAY-ih-tee".
26. I only passed math class because I didn't pay attention to the professor.
28. I don't like normal music.
29. I like Irish music, country music that isn't Kenny Chesney, Sugarland, or ... well... George Strait.
30. But I don't admit that I don't like George Strait, 'cause you just can't say that.
31. Even though I just said it to the whole darned internet.
32. Doesn't matter. No one reads this anyhow.
33. No, I have no illusions about anyone ever reading this blog. I just like to talk to all of you imaginary readers.
34. It's like talking to the boxes at JCP.
35. I think I learned to make lists from Skippy.
36. Because my lists never quite make sense.
37. It's probably been two hours since I last wrote anything on my music concert report.
27. I moved number 27 over here... just to see if you were paying attention.
38. Yeah, I'm bored.
39. I feel like writing a short story, but I don't know what about.
40. I feel like writing about my jester, but seeing as I killed him off in the last story...
41. Unless I make him a zombie. But then that creates a whole new set of problems.
42. I left my Christmas lights up all year.
43. And I never stopped playing Christmas music from last December.
44. I hate New Years.
45. In fact, it is my least favorite holiday.
46. My second least favorite is Valentines Day.
47. By the way, when I take over the world, those two holidays will be the first to go.
48. They will be replaced with Star Wars Day on May 4th (As in May The Fourth be with you), and International Talk Like a Pirate Day.
49. If you need me to tell you when International Talk Like a Pirate Day is, get off this blog.
50. Right now.
51. No, you can't look it up on Wikipedia.
52. Or Google it.
53. Just go.
54. It's better this way.
55.I probably should get to work on that paper.
56. Yeah. I'm gonna do that now.
57. And I'm just going to stop this list at 57, 'cause that's a really random number.
Bored.
Bored. Bored. Really bored.
I have to write a concert report for Music Appreciation. I've already written one, and it all just seems to be very repetetive. It's due tomorrow, so, no choice in the matter. But I really don't wanna write it!! It's so BORING!
I'm seriously tempted to write it in adventure story mode. That way me AND the professor would get some entertainment.
"And then the heroic conductor came out of the wings riding on a pegasus to a fanfare of the orchestra tuning their instruments! With a great clash of noise, they welcomed the mighty titan!"
Yeah. That's better.
I have to write a concert report for Music Appreciation. I've already written one, and it all just seems to be very repetetive. It's due tomorrow, so, no choice in the matter. But I really don't wanna write it!! It's so BORING!
I'm seriously tempted to write it in adventure story mode. That way me AND the professor would get some entertainment.
"And then the heroic conductor came out of the wings riding on a pegasus to a fanfare of the orchestra tuning their instruments! With a great clash of noise, they welcomed the mighty titan!"
Yeah. That's better.
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