Todays news...

Alright people, never let this one be your obituary headline: "Dead Man Found in Avocado Tree".

And here's the sign that there really is some justice left in the world: "Florida Man Sentenced to Death for Leaving Child to Be Eaten by Alligators". That's brilliant. Anyone that does something like that should not be given life in prison. Good to know the death sentence is still good for something.

But then again, here's another reason why humanity is down the toilet. A Spanish horror novelist turns out to be a cannibal. They found bits of his girlfriends body in the fridge, and some of her muscle in a frying pan, with a bit of fruit seasoning. It's assumed that the novelist had killed two people before, in the same manner. The maximum sentence? 50 years in prison. Now, sure, by the time 50 years is up, he'll already be dead. But I mean... someone who cannibalizes his girlfriend and writes a book about it should not be allowed to live another second. He should be shot. No no... not shot.... crushed. Slowly.