We say that here, don't we?

I feel like writing.

2010-06-06T22:30:00.001-04:00

Hi, blog, how are you?

I feel like writing, but I don't know what I want to write. Actually, I don't really want to write, I just feel like typing a lot. Maybe I should go find a game or something to play. Or maybe I should actually start to edit that stupid NaNoWriMo novel.

Oh, by the way, my coupon for a free print is totally going to expire before the thing is ready to print. Meh.

Note to self:

2010-05-06T22:02:00.001-04:00

It's called the "Taxicaster". In case you forget again.

Someone PLEASE

2010-05-05T16:26:00.004-04:00

Someone please explain to me who this douche is that keeps watching me every time I go to the front page of YouTube...

Oh em gee!

2010-04-30T16:52:00.002-04:00

That is like epic for the win!! My sister still has this jewelry box in the house even though she hasn't lived here for like... probably around ten years now. And she has said that I can raid the jewelry box and take anything I want since she's cleaned out all the good stuff by now. Well, I never really got around to it, but I just randomly got an idea in my head that I want to make some steampunk crap, and the best way to make steampunk crap is to locate all the junk you can find and glue it all together, basically. So I finally decided to raid the jewelry box. Now, I didn't find anything in there that I could really use.

But you know what I did find?

I totally found my dad's class ring from high school! It's pretty sweet, actually! And the sad thing is that it totally fits me :) That's actually pretty epic... I need to show him when he gets home. I don't think he even knows it's still hanging around here!!

Veggie?

2010-04-30T16:23:00.001-04:00

Theoretically, I'd love to be a vegetarian. Realistically, though, I like sushi too much.

ARGH!

2010-04-19T15:17:00.000-04:00

I don't want to write about juvenile delinquency, I WANT TO WRITE THAT CON ARTIST STORY!!!

A tip for professors

2010-04-19T11:46:00.003-04:00

Okay, let's say you're a college professor. Here's a few tips so that your students don't start to hate you.

DO NOT assign seventeen study questions per chapter on three different chapters... to be done in one week. That's 51 questions. And it's only worth 15 points? TOTAL? I mean, ALL of those study questions lumped together at the end of the semester... 15 points? So not worth it.

Also, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make your assignments clear. So far, you've told me that you want a "Presentation", which to me means that I just have to get up and talk. Crap. But then I'm supposed to have a three page paper to go with it. Fine, I probably should have expected that. But then you hand out this "Report Format" sheet listing all the questions you want answered, with incredibly ambiguous statements that don't even apply to the article you assigned to me. What do you want? Do you want me to teach the chapter? Do you want a summary of it? Do you want me to fill out the questions you asked in list format? TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!!!

And don't just read straight out of the book. You're literally standing up front, reading the text out of the book. I can do that. I'm paying thousands of dollars for a bloody education, and you're requiring that I attend every class. So you better put some new information into your lesson, or I seriously don't see the point of coming.

Also, don't ask personal questions of your students. "What reactions did you see in yourself as you were reading the article?" is not going to be answered by those of us who are reserved and non-trusting. Yet I know you're going to take points off for not answering it.

Since we're on the subject, don't ask me to psychoanalyze myself as a class exercise, listing off all of my character flaws, and what I like best about myself. I get that you worked as a counselor. I get that you're convinced that we need to relate to people. Trust me, I know, I'm working on that. But your job as the *counselor* was to fix people. Your current job as the *professor* is to teach. Not to fix. So I will not reveal my soul to the whole class just to finish your stupid in-class assignment, which you're not grading anyway.

That is all for now.

ALSO

2010-04-19T03:08:00.000-04:00

If you're bored one night at 3:00 AM and you decide to call a phone chat line, chances are that you will NOT be talking to a sexy cougar in skimpy undies who is dancing on a pole conveniently located in her bedroom.

Odd what you notice...

2010-04-19T02:51:00.001-04:00

There are some weird TV commercials on at 3:00 AM. Especially on Spike. I never knew there were so many stripper bars around here!

Also... Sin city is a very pretty movie... but I'm still not clear on what the plot is. But I don't think that really matters.

I won't go to bed, I won't, I won't!

2010-04-04T00:17:00.002-04:00

I'm not doing my homework, either.

A 
-Available: Yes.
-Age: 20
-Annoyances: People who turn down the radio to make you listen to them talk.
-Afternoons or mornings: Middle of the freaking night.

B 
-Best Friend: Becky.
-Beer: No thank you.
-Birthday: August 23.
-Best month: December
-Best day: Monday (Yeah, I said it. Monday. Castle is on!)

C
- Crush: Alex. So sue me.
-Candy: Hershey's.
-Color: Green.
-Chocolate or Vanilla: Yes please.
-Criminal Record: Nope. That'd make it really hard to get a job in my field.

D 
-Day or Night: Night
-Dream Vehicle: I like that dark grey VW bug I saw a while ago.
-Dream: Acting.

E 
-Easiest Person To Talk To: Tari! (Alex is easy to talk to, when I'm not freaking out.)
-Eggs: With buttered toast. No eggs.
-End of the line: We've arrived at the north pole??
-Everday Routine (briefly): Wake up. Goof off. Sleep.

F 
-First Crush: Ha! Seth XD
-Fuck vs Feck: Gorram.
-Fave piece of clothing: Shiny pirate t-shirt.
-Fave song: One Believer by Diamond Rio.
-Future: I still don't have my jetpack.

G 
-Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: Worms.
-Giver or Taker: Giver.
-Greatest moment in life: Marty Roe serenading me with Norma Jean Riley.
-Gold or Silver: Silver.

H 
-Hair: I forget if I brushed it today or not.
-Happy: Meh. Hungry. Thirsty. A little lonely. But I'm good.
-Hat: The funkiest one I can find. Fedoras and bowlers.
-Hugs: Alex gives great hugs ^_^
  
I 
-Ice Cream: Moose tracks or cookie dough. (Yes, I had to stop to think about the spelling for cookie)
-Instrument: Piano. Alex plays the pia-- Stop it, Rio.
-Is there anything you would tell yourself 3 years ago: Don't accept that job at JCPenney. And get your butt in college.
-Invisible for a Day: No thank you. Let's try visible for a day.

J
-Jewelry: Enough to open a shop.
-Job: Unemployed in Greenland.
-Jeans: Gap. Curvy, short, size 8. Dark indigo.

K
-King for a day: Sequel to Dr Horrible and Serenity. And Nathan Fillion sitting by my side.

O 
-One Wish: Ale-- .... <.< >.>
-One Phobia: Spiders.
-One song: Life is a Highway. Rascal Flatts or Chris LeDoux. I don't care, I like them both.
-One love: Nathan Fillion!

P
-Part Of Your Personality That You Like: I make a very good shoulder to cry on.
-Physical Feature on yourself you like: ... well, there's nothing I *hate*.
-Physical Feature on opposite sex you like: Smile.

Q 
-Quick or Slow: Eh?
-Queen for the day: Sequel for Dr Horrible and-- wait. What?

R
- Reason 2 Smile: This
-Reason 2 Cry: This

S
-Song You Last Heard: Ireland's Call, Celtic Thunder.
-Song You Are Hearing: This

W 
-Worst Habits: Procrastination.
-Worst Day: Saturday. Nothing's on TV.
-Worst thing you own: Backstreet Boys Greatest Hits.
-Why?: Because.

Aw.

2010-04-01T13:56:00.000-04:00

He's offline now. Sad.

Speaking of phones...

2010-04-01T13:53:00.000-04:00

I've always prided myself on not being one of those girls to stare at the phone and *will* it to ring... and be That Guy.

Just now, I found myself staring at the Online list of my Facebook friends, *willing* That Guy to start a chat with me.

Great. I'm one of them.

New Phone?

2010-04-01T13:18:00.001-04:00

What is it about a new phone that makes you think it's going to ring more than the old one did?

Name generators... for the lose?

2010-03-26T01:02:00.003-04:00

Just wanted to say that I was using a name generator to try to pick out a name for a secondary character, and this name generator is based on data from the US census, so just typical names.

It came up with this one.

Major Dong Park

Um... yeah, I don't think I'll be going with that one. Thanks though.

In case you were wondering...

2010-03-04T02:23:00.000-05:00

The taste of dish soap lasts for about two days. FYI.

Also, I'm leaving for FLORIDA on Friday, so if you don't hear from me for a week... you probably won't care anyway, because you are a non-existent reader and I'm really just talking to myself here :)

Though, if I'm talking to myself by updating this blog, then technically you WILL hear from me over the course of the week, because you ARE me, and --

Yeah. Maybe I should get some sleep. And possibly check the expiration date on the milk.

Still more dish soap

2010-03-01T13:17:00.001-05:00

It lasts at least 25 hours.

Dish Soap chronicles

2010-03-01T02:43:00.000-05:00

The dish soap flavour lasts at least 15 hours, and we're still going.

Eat your heart out, Stride gum!!

Revenge of the Dish Soap

2010-02-28T23:40:00.000-05:00

And under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you EVER mix the dish soap flavour with toothpaste.

Dish soap flavour outlasts...

2010-02-28T23:32:00.001-05:00

Yes, dish soap flavour is very resilient. It stays around through:

Water
Hot tea
Pizza
Chocolate milk
Orbit gum
Garlic dinner rolls

It's amazing! I swear, Willy Wonka invented this flavour, it never goes away! Call right now, and we'll double the offer!

Dish soap flavour lasts longer than Stride gum

2010-02-28T23:15:00.002-05:00

Tip for future reference. If you're going to reuse a straw, you should probably wash it out, but for the love of all that is good... make sure that ALL of the soap is out of the straw before you use it. Even the residue of the soap left on the inside is enough to make the nastiest hot chocolate you've ever tasted. Remember: dish soap is very concentrated, so a little is all it takes.

Also, in case you're wondering, the flavour stays in your mouth for at least eleven hours, but it may be more. And it also makes all food and water taste nasty. Actually, you're probably better off not eating or drinking since this only produces more saliva which is what got flavoured by the soap in the first place.

Look, just... don't reuse straws, okay?

It's tomorrow.

2010-02-27T00:28:00.001-05:00

Deviant behavior... and I pick to do my paper on deaf people and their culture?

... yeah, I'm really going to start regretting this around page... oh... four, aren't I? Right around the time that I run out of crap to say.

This is going to be fun.

This is due on Monday, right? Wonderful.

EDIT (2/28/10) I actually made it two lines into page five before I finally rammed my head on my keyboard.

Last one for today

2010-02-26T23:09:00.001-05:00

I swear. I'll be done after this.

I set down my laptop for a second to go get my sign language books, and when I came back, my cat had 'helped' me with some of my writing.

Thank you, kitty.

I can multitask.

2010-02-26T22:56:00.003-05:00

Yes, I AM doing my paper while watching Apolo skate, Tari, don't be such a smart ass. I can do two things at once.

Well... three, since I'm blogging too.

Okay, you win. I'm putting the blog away. But I'm NOT turning off the TV!

But- but- but-

2010-02-26T22:28:00.001-05:00

But I love Apolo 0.0 I don't want him disqualified...

Revising the English Language.

2010-02-26T13:53:00.003-05:00

Okay, we've already decided that the word "Gubernatorial" is now known as "Governatorial".

I have also decided that the word "handful" is stupid, as is "mouthful". I mean... Hand. Full. Handfull. Mouth. Full. Mouthfull. So, once again "handfull" and "mouthfull" are now the correct forms of these words.

While we're at it, I dunno what is with this alternate capitalization thing lately. It's all Steve Jobs' fault. "iPod", "iPhone", "iMac", "iPad"..... seriously, Steve? So, until further notice, I will not be participating in this idiotic AltCaps thing. But "Ipod" and "Iphone" look just as stupid, so I will no longer be capitalizing anything in the word. "ipod", "iphone". The other two are just too stupid to even mention, so the "Mac" and the "New gigantic iphone for people with fat fingers" are the new names.

So sayeth Rio, let it be so.

Stupid words?

2010-02-23T13:00:00.001-05:00

This just in: "Gubernatorial" is the stupidest word in the English language. I hereby declare the word to be "Governatorial", since that's really what it means.

New rule,

2010-02-23T12:43:00.000-05:00

Finish a page: Get to eat one chocolate.

Finish a paper: Get to take a break and watch 3 to 5 episodes of CTFxC.

Finish all homework: Get to sleep.

Finish sleeping: Get to play Tomb Raider or Nine Dragons.

Seriously, Jack, really?

2010-02-22T15:05:00.002-05:00

I've been staring at this computer screen and reading the most boring legal junk in the universe since Friday. Pretty much every waking moment. Honestly, I don't know how you crazy Warcrack people do it. I don't think I want to even look at my computer for a week after this.

Either that, or I want to play some serious amounts of Tomb Raider or Nine Dragons or something.

Aw... I miss playing Tomb Raider... I wanna play... want to play Tomb Raider... have to do paper... can't think... so tired... need coffee...

[Rio falls asleep on her own keyboard.]

Attention Defic-- OH SHINY!

2010-02-21T18:20:00.001-05:00

I'm trying to get this paper done. Really.

But... but... I need to get caught up on all of the episodes of The Guild!!! They're only like six minutes long each... I have enough time for a few episodes, right? RIGHT??

... so, let me ask you this. If I'm a fan of Dr. Horrible... and now The Guild... and I read more webcomics than syndicated comics... have I completely gone over to the Geek Side?

I frigging love the English language

2010-02-20T01:22:00.002-05:00

I just found out what you call a group of aardvarks.

They are called an aarmory of aardvarks.

Isn't that epic??

OH!!!

2010-02-17T00:34:00.001-05:00

I WAS GOING TO CHECK MY E-MAILS!!!

Who am I? Where am I? What is all this? Huh?

2010-02-16T23:48:00.001-05:00

Okay, so I'm catching up on all the CTFxC videos that I've missed on YouTube. Apparently I've missed more than I thought. Almost a whole month. It's gonna take me forever to watch all of these. But whatever.

While watching this video, I am winding a ball of yarn which I had tangled beyond hope. Winding... winding... winding... yeah. If you've ever wound yarn before, you know that it's very repetetive and gets really boring unless you're doing something else (like watching CTFxC), until your yarn slips off the ball and then you wind up with this miniature tangle that you have to sort out.

Anyway.

Watching CTFxC, winding yarn. All of a sudden, I think of something really important. Something I want to do or write down or check on. I'm like... three feet away from the end of the yarn, so I wind the last of it, tuck the end in so it doesn't unravel, pause the CTFxC video, and...

...completely forget what I was going to do.

Yeah. I got nothing. Nothing at all.

Is this normal? I'm twenty years old, for Mandalor's sake...

As of this moment, I have yet to remember what it was I was going to do.

Packing?

2010-02-16T19:08:00.002-05:00

What does one wear to Florida in winter? Hm. You'd figure that I would remember...

HA!!!

That I'd remember XD

Hahaha.... hee hee... ho... I crack myself up.

I think it was short sleeved t-shirts and a light-ish hoodie for mornings and evenings. OH! Lots and lots of card decks, because we stayed up until like 2:00 AM playing Egyptian Ratscrew. Imma have to teach everyone to play Big Twos... Yeah. Books. Lots of books. Notebook, let's not forget that. BUG SPRAY LIKE WHOA. That camp is like BUG CENTRAL. Those work gloves... digital camera, video camera, chargers, cell phone... CDs! Hum... I wonder what CDs I should bring... Diamond Rio, totally. It's not a trip without Diamond Rio. Should I bring Glenn Miller? 'cause I'm just that awesome. Hm. I shall have to think this over...

Whoo!

2010-02-16T14:59:00.001-05:00

Spring break in FLORIDA, Y'ALL! ^_^

Argh.

2010-02-10T23:16:00.001-05:00

I can't brain today. I have the dumb.

Phil Harris died?!?

2010-02-10T18:08:00.002-05:00

Holy crap!!! Phil Harris died? Dude... that's crazy...

Story here: http://topgelato.com/captain-phil-harris-of-cornelia-marie-dies-at-53/13153

More reliable info here, direct from the source: http://www.corneliamarie.com/ (messages from the Harris boys. Warning, though, the site has been overloaded since the news broke, so you can't get past the front page yet)

Prolly should learn...

2010-02-10T17:08:00.002-05:00

You know, it might be a good idea for me to learn how to write the beginning and end of a story. I've never been all that good at those, so I just sorta write the middle. Somehow that ends up working out fairly well for me. Well... I have like, zero readers on Fanfiction.net, but I guarantee that it's because I write military-comedy-tragedy stories with all original characters, and there's no place for that on FF.net. Now, if I wrote fanfiction shipping two established characters, screwed with the continuity of the established canon, and wrote just general fluff about these two falling in love and kissing while standing in a field of wildflowers, then I'd be a really popular writer.

Unfortunately, if I wrote that sort of stuff, I'd need a new computer after each story that I wrote on account of barfing on the keyboard.

And...

2010-02-08T15:12:00.002-05:00

To the MedCo employee who just had to deal with my mother on the phone, I sincerely apologize. If I knew your name, I'd send the largest box of chocolates ever.

Yeah, she's always like that. I'm trying to teach her that not everyone is out to get her, and that "I can't talk to you about your husband's billing information" law was not set up with the sole purpose of stonewalling her personally. But she still thinks that it was made just to frustrate her. I'm trying to teach her, but honestly, it's like trying to teach an ape to recite Shakespeare.

Box of chocolates coming your way. Hope the rest of your day sucks less, and that your boss gives you a nice long lunch break for dealing with my mother.

You deserve hazard pay.

A test

2010-02-08T15:03:00.002-05:00

I'm going to give you a coupon for a free item at your favorite store.

Okay? Okay.

Now, the fine print prevents me from giving you this coupon if you have more than $20 on any credit card. Do you?

You do?

I'm sorry, you don't qualify for the coupon. I apologize for taking up your time.

...

...

Now, did you feel like killing me? Because you felt entitled to that free thing? Like it's YOURS, and how dare I take it away from you?

If you answered yes to any of those questions... THEN YOU ARE NEVER... EVER... TO HANDLE BUSINESS WITH ANY EMPLOYEE. Have your husband, your kid, your aunt, your neighbor... ANYONE handle it. But if YOU think that every employee is out to get you, and you can't handle any sort of roadblock because of rules that the employee can't control, and you can't control your own temper... well, sit in your house and knit, because you have no business being near the public. Ever.

Interesting fact

2010-02-08T14:42:00.000-05:00

My mom's doctor wanted her to abort me because he was convinced that I had brain damage.

I don't get it

2010-02-07T19:01:00.002-05:00

But I never do, ya know? I mean, I've never lost anyone that's been really close to me. My grandpa, yeah, but that was two... three... four... I don't know how many years after his stroke. And he was miserable. So that was okay. But I've never had anyone really close to me die for no reason at all. So, for some reason, it's always worse for me when it's someone that I didn't know. It's that lady in drama club that I talked to sometimes, but never really made friends with, and I can't remember one conversation we had, even though I knew that I talked to her. It's a boy that I had seen across the aisle in church. I thought he was awesome 'cause he'd wear those tie things in his collar like country music singers wore before the 90s. This time around, it was a classmate. I finally found her picture in the obituaries, which was pretty good, considering that I only had an approxomate time of death, and only knew her first name. And looking at her picture... I still can't remember her. I don't remember hearing her say anything, I never talked to her, I don't remember her coming in early or late... just... nothing. The paper says she died "unexpectedly", but says nothing more than that. The professor said something about suicide, but it doesn't fit. But then... isn't it the ones that you don't notice?

That's my issue. That's why it's worse when it's someone that I didn't know. I have memories of my grandpa. I knew that he was miserable there at the end. I knew it was coming. I can remember the good times. I can tell the stories about him and his left handed pen pal.

But when it's someone I didn't know? It's like... I feel guilty about not knowing them. Especially like the guy from church. Because I had seen him. I did want to say that I liked those little collar things, but I never did. It would have been weird. You don't walk up to people and say stuff like that. I mean... when it's someone that I could have talked to, that I thought about talking to...

It's like I say. Maybe if I keep talking, nothing bad will happen. I mean, if it was suicide, chances are, one classmate wouldn't have made a huge difference. But you never know. I just don't like knowing that there was someone really near in proximity to me, and I never even saw them. That I have nothing to remember. Like some sort of footprint in the sand that'll go away with the next tide. I have this writerly need to know who the person was that made the footprint, so when the print is gone...

Yeah. Sorry if the whole sand thing was stupid. I'll just... yeah. I'll stop now. I sound crazy.

Hee hee...

2010-02-07T17:46:00.000-05:00

Pandora radio...

In Soviet Russia... radio listens to you!!

..... did I already make that joke once? I feel like I did...

A theory

2010-02-07T12:31:00.002-05:00

So, just got started on writing the essay portion of my take-home mid-term (accelerated class. that's why I'm already at the mid-term). And of course, I am having the worst time concentrating. Really. I've watched portions of about 3 episodes of NCIS, listened to the Doctor Horrible soundtrack, checked on Facebook, and scoured the internet for pictures of Jimmy Olander's taxi-cab guitar.

See, this is why I can never get anything done.

So, finally I turn on some music. And now I can concentrate. (Except that I'm writing a blog instead, but... stay with me for a sec.)

So, you know about that study they did? Dunno how big it was. Anyway. They had two groups of students take a test. In one classroom, they played rock music. In the other room, they played classical. And, of course, the room with the classical music did much better. So, they theorize, rock music rots your brain, and classical music makes you smarter.

But see, I've got a different theory. And remind me to test this one out if I ever have to do a psychological experiment or something crazy.

When I have any sort of schoolwork to do, whether it's a test or a paper or whatever, I can't concentrate. But music helps. But it has to be specific music. It can't have any lyrics (at least in English), and it can't have a theme that I know well (i.e. the Indiana Jones theme, the Star Wars theme, or any of the Pirates soundtracks). Two things happen: My brain won't focus on the schoolwork completely, so it focuses on the music. If I don't have music to focus on, that's when I wind up on Facebook or watching NCIS.

Does that make sense? I need to provide my brain with a distraction it can think about while still allowing me to work. But if it has English lyrics, I end up listening to the story, or singing along. If it is a theme I know well, I'm humming along with it, or following the melody that I know so well.

So. That's kinda the best way I can explain my little theory. Did the students listening to the rock music do poorly because they were listening to the words, and couldn't concentrate on the written words in front of them? And did the students listening to classical music do better because the music kept their brains from straying too far, yet didn't distract them with lyrics or a hummable melody?

By the way, the music I'm listening to? Rap music. In Hebrew. Really.

Martial Arts films

2010-02-03T20:33:00.001-05:00

Martial Arts films are so cheesy, it's hilarious. I think I'm a fan.

Hm.

2010-02-01T15:49:00.002-05:00

Yeah, see, now, this is going to be one of those useful things during interviews, you know? "Thank you for taking the time to answer our questions. We'll consider your application. But one final thing, we would like you to complete a sample brief for us. Thank you much."

But reading cases still kinda sucks. I'd rather be crocheting. I got a new book. 33% off coupon at Borders. Stitch and Bitch, the Happy Hooker. I love yarn books with questionable names. There's something fun about them. It makes a rather girly project seem a bit more sinister. Like embroidery with curse words. Sundresses with combat boots. Harley-Davidson jackets in infant sizes. It's like that. *sigh* I'm gonna need some more yarn. Ooh, I want that bamboo stuff I found at Hobby Lobby! Totally soft. Seriously, bamboo. Don't ask me how you make yarn out of bamboo, 'cause I dunno. I just know that it's the softest most awesome thing ever. More expensive than those acrylic yarns I've been buying, obviously.

Now, Rio, what are you supposed to be doing?

... writing a case brief?

Yes. And what are you doing?

... blogging about yarn?

And what should you NOT be doing?

... blogging about yarn....

So you're going to...

...stop blogging about yarn and get back to my homework.

GOOD! Now, say goodbye, hit the publish button, and go back to reading that case.

Last one, then I'm done

2010-02-01T13:07:00.002-05:00

So, I had been scouring my textbook for any ideas on how to write this stupid brief, and as I said, there was flubbing nothing there.

So, thanks to my awesome college learning, thousands of dollars for a degree, and professors with extensive knowledge on criminal justice, I did what any intelligent book-learned college student would do.

I Googled it.

Well lookie there. Step by step instructions on how to write a brief.

So glad I paid for tuition.

The same issue, only a little more in depth

2010-02-01T12:57:00.001-05:00

Okay, so, I have to write a case brief for my constitutional law class. Only, the professor never actually said how to do that. He gave us a page number in the book that has an example of a case law... supposedly. But of course, it's a textbook, so all it actually says is "When writing a brief, take good notes, 'cause they get kinda long." Not in those words, but you get the idea. An example of what it's supposed to look like? Oh no, that would be helpful, and we have to charge extra for that.

Seriously, I hate it when professors do that!! "Do this complicated legal paper that you've never seen before, and make it good 'cause you want an A."

Seriously. I can't get a job in the criminal justice system because I have no idea what a case brief looks like. They want me to go to school to learn this stuff. Yet when I go to school, they expect me to already know about the stuff that I'm learning. How in the hell does that help me? Where does this elusive knowledge come from? Because I certainly haven't found this Fountain of Smart that these jobs and colleges think I've found.

Here's a concept. When I'm paying you thousands of dollars to teach me what the hell I'm supposed to be doing.... teach me what the hell I'm supposed to be doing!

Good job picking a major...

2010-02-01T12:50:00.001-05:00

Why, you ask, would I pick criminal justice as my major if I hate courts and lawyers so much?

...

yeah, I'll get back to you on that.

How to deal with employees

2010-01-25T12:00:00.003-05:00

The Real Reasons Your Business Can't Get Done Over the Phone

1. Always remember that it is the employee's fault. Not the company, not the privacy laws, and not *all* of the employees. It is that one employee who answers the phone to deal with your problems. It is HER fault PERSONALLY that you are having these issues. And don't forget: She is sitting at her desk, wearing her headset, plotting on how best to screw up your life. Not everyone else's lives... YOUR life. Because she hates you personally.

2. Being nice doesn't get any business done. When you are nice to the person on the phone, he thinks you are weak, and won't listen to you at all. He then laughs with all his buddies while telling stories about you around the water cooler. Remember that yelling always gets things done. Because when you yell at an employee, his only thought is "Oh, my! This customer is enraged! How ever will I live with myself? I have to help her, or I will spend the rest of my life wallowing in misery!". And remember to yell a lot, because it's much more effective. The employee will not be thinking, "Just get off the phone, bitch."

3. Remember to keep repeating how you thought things worked. It doesn't matter that there are privacy laws that prevent employees from giving you someone else's info over the phone. If *you* thought that they could give you any info you asked for, then that's how things are. Keep insisting this point! Because there's no real privacy law; the employee is just making it up so she can make your life miserable (because remember, she's out to get you).

4. Threaten to have the employee fired. Because remember: You have that kind of power. The world works because you allow them to, and it is a privilege that you can take away any time you choose. And this phone job is the most important thing in the world to the employee. His entire life is centered around answering phones all day. In fact, he doesn't have a home or a life or bills or a family or kids. He lives at that business, doesn't sleep, doesn't eat, doesn't pee, doesn't gossip with coworkers. Remember: All employees are robots. They live to do one task and never worry about anything else.

5. On occasion, even after you've followed all of these steps, your business still will not be done. Don't panic. You have one last ace up your sleeve. Threaten to never shop/do business there again!! This will be so miserable for the employee, and she will possibly ball up on the floor and cry. At this point in the conversation, she should be begging you not to leave the company, and will gladly give you a billion-dollar gift card to make up for the trouble. If, for some reason, your employee seems unfazed by this threat, then you must be prepared to follow through. You must now actually never shop there again. Take comfort in knowing that for the rest of that employee's miserable life, she will look back with remorse on the day that she lost such a fine customer. Her life will be in ruin, she will need to see a therapist, and will likely need to begin taking anti-depression drugs. You have gotten your point across. Bravo to you.

How could they treat you like this? You've always been such a good customer...

A question.

2010-01-23T16:19:00.000-05:00

If Joss Whedon makes a film, and no one is around to see it, is it still a cult phenomenon?

... yes.

OOH! OOH! I KNOW!!

2010-01-15T11:17:00.000-05:00

OOH! I KNOW WHERE THE BEGINNING IS!!! I KNOW WHERE TO START MY STORY!!! :D

Ugh.

2010-01-10T20:05:00.001-05:00

School tomorrow. Drast. :(

Day two of editing

2010-01-05T18:53:00.002-05:00

Well, editing was going pretty well until Windows crashed. And by crashed, I don't mean shut down and didn't save my last three paragraphs. I mean full crash, completely gone, had to reinstall windows. Yeah. Really. That happened yesterday. I saved all my files though, so it's all good. But still. I lost all my internet favorites *again*. Lovely.

But this has happened before, and it IS Windows, so I came prepared with a terabyte of backup hard drive. So HA.

Anyway. On to the arrangement of plot. See, the first chapter deals with Torin being bitten by the werewolf. It makes a great beginning, but it isn't very effective, you know? I mean, you've only just met this character, so it's not like you necessarily *care* that he's being bit. So... yeah. Wondering where to start now. But I'll get this arranged, no worries. One Note is helping. I've just discovered this program, and I heart it so far. I can rearrange plots right on my computer screen without having to copy and paste a bunch of crap... so it's nice. Helpful.

Yeah. So. Back to editing. I've got a deadline if I want to get this thing published.

And before you get all excited, I don't mean published published. Just printing out my free CreateSpace copy that I get for completing NaNoWriMo, but that coupon expires July 1st, so... yeah. Carry on.

Story writing and revision

2010-01-04T16:24:00.002-05:00

Current short story count: 0

Heh. Yep. I keep trying, but nothing's coming. Where the heck do I normally come up with this stuff? Oh well.

I did get started on revising my NaNoWriMo novel. Hooray. So far I've deleted the opening sequence. There was nothing going on there, except my characters quoting random movie lines because they couldn't think of anything else to do. I had sort of an odd start to November :) Once they quit quoting lines, though, they started doing stuff. The second scene had Luke and Torin chasing a werewolf through the woods, Torin vowing to join a gym, and Luke yelling in German. Which is odd, 'cause he's not German. Anyway. That's what we're starting with now. Makes it a better beginning.

200 short stories in one year.

2010-01-02T01:09:00.002-05:00

That is NOT a New Years resolution, by the way. It's the stupidest holiday ever, and yes, I'm including Valentines Day in there as well.

BUT! I'm bored, and I feel like doing something stupid, like setting some crazy goal, like 200 short stories in one year. I don't know why. I don't know where I'm going to get these story ideas. But I feel like it, so shut up.

I know. "In one year" sounds like a resolution. It ISN'T. It's just a convenient marker of the beginning and end of the year. If you don't believe me, I'll write a blog later detailing exactly why it's the stupidest holiday ever.

Now on to the questions.

Wait, why?
Because I'm bored, it's late, and I was up late last night making fun of the hypocrites and their resolutions, so I'm a little loopy.

Why 200? Why not 365?
Yeah right. Like I'm going to write one story every day? No way. 200 leaves me 165 days to play with. That gives me leeway for stuff like finals week, crazy studies, visits from family, and those insane thirty days of November known as NaNoWriMo.

Define short story. Is there a set amount of words? Are you going to do one theme? Will these stories be related?
No, no, and no. I once wrote a short story that was forty-six words long. It had characters who had personality, it had a beginning, a middle, and a (typical Rio cliffhanger) ending. It totally counts. And if I'm gonna do something stupid like write 200 stories in a year, I'm not going to put up any restrictions like word count, genre, or making them one common theme. That's just crazy talk.

So, what do you get if you manage to write 200 stories in a year?
............... a cookie?

Another Secret

2009-12-22T17:36:00.000-05:00

I think in a British accent.

How To Become a Celebrity

2009-12-22T15:30:00.002-05:00

Step 1: Star in a bad movie.

Step 2: Start doing drugs.

Step 3: Be caught using those drugs in a public place. Get lots of media attention.

Step 4: Milk that attention for all it's worth.

Step 5: Star in another bad movie.

Step 6: Make a music video. (Singing talent optional)

Step 7: Make a fragrance.

Step 8: Make a clothing line for Walmart.

Step 9: Stop making movies and dedicate yourself to doing commercials for something they pay you to be passionate about.

Step 10: Die of an overdose.

Result: Go down in history as one of the greatest actors of all time.

Another secret

2009-12-21T20:51:00.002-05:00

I won't pass by the staircase at night when it's completely pitch black because of the monsters that live in the dark.

A secret

2009-12-20T01:00:00.001-05:00

My secret?

I don't think I'll ever meet that special someone.

Would you kill Batman?

2009-12-13T15:41:00.002-05:00

So, let's say that they're making a third Batman movie starring Christian Bale. Only, let's say that Christian Bale has decided that he doesn't want to play Batman anymore, and this will be his last time playing the role. Rather than find a new Batman, the studio decides that they won't be making anymore movies. Well, since they won't be making anymore movies, they decide that they may as well kill Batman.

Does this make sense to you? 'cause it doesn't make any sense to me!!

Why can't you kill Batman? HELLO? Batman is a legend, and he's been around for around a thousand years! (In case you hadn't figured out, I'm not actually talking about Batman here. I'd be referring to another legend. Carry on, then.) Just because YOUR measly little studio can't make any more Batman movies doesn't mean you can kill the legend! You can't kill legends! I mean... that's.... that's just something... you.... YOU DON'T DO THAT.

Look, not saying that the series was the most terrific thing ever written. In fact, the show got rather cheesy in the third season. When your leading female actor leaves the show, you can't kill off the character that is pretty much central to the story. You send her away, yes, but you don't kill her. Granted, it did make some interesting plot lines going for the bad guy, yes. But still. And by the way, the new girl they got to replace her? The blonde? HATE HER. Seriously, so annoying.

But back to the issue at hand. I mean, the legend goes on for years, covering... uh... Batman's whole life! It's well established that he's a very old very white-haired man when he dies. And you're just gonna screw with that? You're gonna play with the continuity like that?

Who do you think you are, George Lucas???

When your series ends, you have your legendary character, your Batman, going off into the forest to continue his fight. Because the legend must always continue. What you DON'T do is have him poisoned, then have him wander off to die alone while hallucinating about his dead girlfriend. Seriously. You just don't.

You don't.

A list

2009-12-08T22:34:00.002-05:00

I like lists. And I'm bored, and avoiding music homework.

Random facts about me.

1. I know someone that was on the Grammys.
2. I am sort of a math geek, I guess.
3. I sing with a British accent.
4. Very badly.
5. Since the Bad Channel killed Stargate, my favorite TV show is now Castle.
6. And Nathan Fillion has surpassed Matthew Broderick as my favorite actor.
7. I'm thinking about sending away for my own Billy Mays sticker.
8. Also wondering where I could put him.
9. And wondering if I could get like 20 to put up in various places.
10. Keeping one for myself, obviously.
11. I miss Billy Mays.
12. And I still insist that the Sham Wow guy killed him.
13. Speaking of conspiracies, Roswell was totally a cover up.
14. But not of aliens.
15. Yeah, just out testing secret aircraft. We do crap like that.
16. Also speaking of conspiracies, Oswald acted alone.
17. I know American Sign Language.
18. I think I'm "conversational", though I don't know the difference between "conversational" and "fluent".
19. And I don't feel like looking it up.
20. Every time I look something up, I go to Wikipedia.
21. I start all my research for research papers on Wikipedia and use their links.
22. I can't spell "cookie".
23. "Wookiee", however, I can spell correctly every time.
24. I insist that the real spelling of "handful" is "handfull". I mean, hello? Hand. Full. Handfull.
25. And yes, I still maintain that the correct pronunciation is "DAY-ih-tee".
26. I only passed math class because I didn't pay attention to the professor.
28. I don't like normal music.
29. I like Irish music, country music that isn't Kenny Chesney, Sugarland, or ... well... George Strait.
30. But I don't admit that I don't like George Strait, 'cause you just can't say that.
31. Even though I just said it to the whole darned internet.
32. Doesn't matter. No one reads this anyhow.
33. No, I have no illusions about anyone ever reading this blog. I just like to talk to all of you imaginary readers.
34. It's like talking to the boxes at JCP.
35. I think I learned to make lists from Skippy.
36. Because my lists never quite make sense.
37. It's probably been two hours since I last wrote anything on my music concert report.
27. I moved number 27 over here... just to see if you were paying attention.
38. Yeah, I'm bored.
39. I feel like writing a short story, but I don't know what about.
40. I feel like writing about my jester, but seeing as I killed him off in the last story...
41. Unless I make him a zombie. But then that creates a whole new set of problems.
42. I left my Christmas lights up all year.
43. And I never stopped playing Christmas music from last December.
44. I hate New Years.
45. In fact, it is my least favorite holiday.
46. My second least favorite is Valentines Day.
47. By the way, when I take over the world, those two holidays will be the first to go.
48. They will be replaced with Star Wars Day on May 4th (As in May The Fourth be with you), and International Talk Like a Pirate Day.
49. If you need me to tell you when International Talk Like a Pirate Day is, get off this blog.
50. Right now.
51. No, you can't look it up on Wikipedia.
52. Or Google it.
53. Just go.
54. It's better this way.
55.I probably should get to work on that paper.
56. Yeah. I'm gonna do that now.
57. And I'm just going to stop this list at 57, 'cause that's a really random number.

Bored.

2009-12-08T22:07:00.002-05:00

Bored. Bored. Really bored.

I have to write a concert report for Music Appreciation. I've already written one, and it all just seems to be very repetetive. It's due tomorrow, so, no choice in the matter. But I really don't wanna write it!! It's so BORING!

I'm seriously tempted to write it in adventure story mode. That way me AND the professor would get some entertainment.

"And then the heroic conductor came out of the wings riding on a pegasus to a fanfare of the orchestra tuning their instruments! With a great clash of noise, they welcomed the mighty titan!"

Yeah. That's better.

2009-11-19T14:02:00.001-05:00

At school right now. There's a student behind me talking to her boyfriend's kid via video chat.

Welcome to the future.

Okay, seriously?

2009-11-10T14:45:00.000-05:00

My music professor lost my homework, and now I have to resubmit it.

You know, when your Music Appreciation professor is making you start to hate music, there is something seriously wrong here.

Movie Handbook #1: Water

2009-10-18T00:03:00.002-04:00

Just in case you ever find yourself as the character in a movie or something, here are some simple rules that you should follow.

Rule number one: Water.

When you have been walking around in the desert for three days, or held prisoner for a week, and you are given a bottle of water, it is proper to let half the water dribble down your face. This is especially true if it is the bottom of the bottle, and the last of your rations. Make sure that you don't have the cup/bottle entirely around your mouth. Now take a big swig. If you're doing this properly, half of your water should spill down your face and onto your shirt. This is good. If you didn't do it properly and most of the water actually made it into your mouth, never fear. Just leave your jaw slack as you take the cup/bottle away from your mouth, and the water that made it into your mouth will run down your chin and onto your shirt (where it belongs).

So, just remember, make sure there is little contact between the cup/bottle and your mouth, and take a big swig. The rest should come naturally!

Good luck in your movie survival.

Stretching That Paper

2009-10-12T16:03:00.002-04:00

Some more college guidelines for you. Today's subject... stretching that paper to get to that required number of pages. In the examples, I'll be using a fictional paper written by a fictional character at a fictional university. In Star Wars. Just, you know, because I don't have to cite sources for stuff about Star Wars :)

Tip #1: Header.
We all know that we have to put our name on the paper. Duh. But I learned in Comp 1 to put the professor's name, course name, and due date on the paper as well. That takes absolutely no creative writing on your part, but it takes up FOUR LINES. Here's an example.

Mirda L'Tarel
Professor Lucias
Composition 1
14 May, 15 ABY

There you go! Four lines.

Tip #2: Title.
You can put the title about four lines below that header. Kinda use your own eye on this one to determine what looks like too much of a gap, but you can squeeze a few extra lines from that :) Also, throw in an extra line after the title before getting to the body text.

Tip #3: Credible sources.
When you are using someone else's research you MUST CITE THE SOURCE. But you know that already. Sources are cited at the end of the sentence/paragraph where you mentioned the research. But rather than just putting the name in parentheses at the end of the sentence... try naming the source and listing their credentials. Takes up extra words and also makes your research sound more credible.
Rather than saying...
"Research shows that 80% of Jawas have no reason for saying the word 'uttini' (Xiro, 13 ABY)."

Try saying...
"Admiral Leon Xiro (13 ABY), head of the Linguistics and Culture department of the Galactic Senate, did a six-year experiment on Tattoine and found that 80% of Jawas have no reason for saying the word 'uttini' (Xiro, 13 ABY)."

Tip #4: Font
Yeah, font. For me, Microsoft Word's default setting is an 11 pt font. Bump that up to 12 pt. A 12 pt font is still not huge, and your professor will not have an issue with that size, but it will fit slightly less words on a line, thus making more lines, thus expanding your paper. Note: NEVER go any higher than 12pts. Then your professor will yell at you.

Tip #5: Summary
I've said several times before that content isn't worth a damn as long as you can spell and use proper grammar. So try this one. Let's say that your professor spent the entire class time yesterday talking about Jawas who use the word Uttini. You KNOW that he already knows the subject backwards and forwards. So when you go to write your paper, you don't need to give all of that background info, right? WRONG. Give the history of the research! Write a summary of a great article that you found on the subject (and FRIGGING CITE YOUR SOURCE. Make it clear that it is a summary!!!). Yeah, the professor already knows all of this stuff. But show him that YOU know it too, or can at least pretend that you know what you're talking about. You can not only add LINES, but you can add PARAGRAPHS by giving the whole background of the issue.

Tip #6: Quotations
Quotes are your friends. Make a really great point, then find someone who has said basically the same thing that you're trying to say, except that they say it in a much prettier way. Quotation! (Do I have to remind you to cite your source again??) And never forget about your BEST FRIEND, the block quotation. Any quote that takes up more than four lines should be put in block quote format. That gives you a TON of padding on that paper. Here is an example of a block quote.

Tip #7: The debate
Well, yeah, Admira Xiro says that 80% of Jawas have no reason for saying 'uttini'. But what about Professor Mirshe?? He tagged a local band of Jawas and figured that the word 'uttini' has more than 100 different meanings. Admiral Xiro translated it differently. To him, it seemed that there was no reason for a Jawa to have said 'uttini'. However, according to Professor Mirshe's research, there are MANY meanings for the word, and therefore MANY situations in which it can be used. So, while it may seem random, the Jawa may actually be saying something like "Holy crap!" or "Get off my foot!" or "Hey baby! Lookin FINE today!!"
Okay, bad example. But try listing off the OTHER side of the debate as well.

Meh. That's all for now. I'll edit this post if I think of anything else.

Speaking of locals...

2009-10-10T11:16:00.002-04:00

So, I'm in my hotel room, and I hear all this yelling and whooping and hollering going on RIGHT outside my window! I look--

It's the Lutheran men's group. They're all standing outside on the patio. And they're-- Well, I dunno what they're doing. One guy is standing. Another guy is blindfolded, sitting on the first guy's shoulders, and he's flailing about with a foam mallet, trying to thwack the other guys.

And as quickly as they showed up, they're gone again.

Seriously, I love it here.

Local Legends

2009-10-10T10:37:00.002-04:00

Okay, you know how you go see a movie, some horror B-movie. And there's this small town that someone is visiting for some unknown reason. Well, EVERY time they go to this small town, there's like, some local legend floating around about the monster that lives in the woods, yeah? But that never happens in real life! First, these small towns don't really have these types of legends; they're only plot devices.

Author interruption: I just used a semicolon!!!

Second, even if there are local legends, the locals don't actually believe them, and won't repeat them to outsiders. It's sorta just a fun thing to share around town. I.E. "Hey! You hear about someone kicking over Old Man Johnson's mailbox last night?" "Yeah... I bet it was the swamp beast. Heh."

Right?

Heh. Not so much.

So, here I am on vacation for the weekend in Northern Michigan. And I was looking for a good country music station to listen to. Found one. Listened to a bit of Trace Adkins, some Craig Morgan. Then someone called in with a request for the station to play "the Dog-man song".

Dog man? Dog-man? Dogman?

So there's this song playing, telling this whole legend of this Dogman. And I'm thinking, "Nice. There really is a country song for everything :)"

Totally not a country song. It's a local song that talks about their actual legend of the dogman. Complete with sightings.

Really.

So, if I start looking into this legend and wander out at night so see if I can find it... just... remind me not to. That's the person that always ends up eaten.

Another research paper

2009-10-06T16:05:00.002-04:00

Don't mind me. I'm writing more papers.

A bit of advice?

If you're a juvenile, never commit a crime in California.

That is all.

Things I Learned in College: A list.

2009-10-04T23:10:00.002-04:00

It's like Skippy's List, only less entertaining. Because NOTHING is more entertaining than Skippy's List. Except maybe this. But anyway. Here are the 101 things I learned in college so far. And I'll have you know, I intended to make this thing about seventeen items long. But it actually did turn out to be 101.

101 Things I Learned in College

1. The process of elimination works very well on multiple choice mid-terms.
2. Making an educated guess also works out pretty well.
3. Randomly picking C for the sole reason that it hasn't been used in a while does not work out so well.
4. I learned how to B.S. my way through essay questions, and still do well.
5. Making friends with the professor is the best way to get good grades. Seriously.
6. When you're friends with the professor and are turning a paper in late, he assumes it is because you are a hard working student with many things on your plate.
7. When you are not friends with the professor, he assumes it is because you are a lazy ass who is only going to college to meet girls/guys.
8. General education classes suck.
9. General education class professors suck, too.
10. General education classes are taught like they are the single most important thing to ever affect humanity, and if you don't learn it, you will never get anywhere in life, and you will be homeless for the rest of your life.
11. Even if the stuff you are learning is about the polyphonic qualities of late medieval Gregorian chants.
12. Late medieval Gregorian chants sound really really freaky.
13. Late medieval Gregorian chants work incredibly well for scaring away door to door salesmen.
14. Ring around the rosie is a very, very demented song.
15. Medieval painters painted porn.
16. Math makes even less sense in college than it did in high school.
17. No, I will not tell you more about the medieval porn paintings.
18. Coffee is life.
19. Always make sure that the coffee machine has cups before pressing the button.
20. Watching your coffee go down the drain because the cup failed to pop out is very sad business.
21. The ladies at the welcome desk are totally used to handing out refunds to all the other people who sadly watched their coffee flow away.
22. The coffee that comes from the machine tastes WAY better than the bottom-of-the-pot Starbucks coffee that has been sitting in the cafe all day.
23. NEVER get hot chocolate from the coffee machine.
24. Even if it is all you can afford.
25. It isn't hot chocolate. Trust me.
26. Your stuck up music professor actually does listen to more than late medieval Gregorian chant.
27. In fact, she listens to French rap.
28. And bluegrass.
29. And the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack.
30. And she is more addicted to YouTube than I am.
31. Grammar totally counts.
32. Never say 'totally' in a paper.
33. Your classmates have the collective spelling ability of the "OMG EDWARD CULLEN IS SO HOTT!!!1111!!!!1" forums on a Twilight fan page.
34. And yes, your classmates have posted on that forum.
35. Never express a liberal opinion in a conservative classroom.
36. Never express a conservative opinion in a liberal classroom.
37. In fact, just leave the politics at home.
38. When singled out to answer a political question, B.S. your way through it as much as possible, and rephrase the professor's question, adding "What do you guys think?"
39. It is incredibly easy to halt the lecture by bringing up gay marriage.
40. While your classmates scream at each other about gay marriage, you have enough time for a nap.
41. If you keep answering "Teddy Roosevelt" long enough, eventually, it is bound to be right.
42. Almost no one in college has seen any of the Indiana Jones movies.
43. No one knows what a Tribble is.
44. Old Bill Murray movie references are completely wasted on the college crowd.
45. Everyone knows that the Elves came to the rescue at Helm's Deep, but no one has any clue who Tom Bombadil is.
46. In fact, what in the heck do they teach you in those high schools?
47. No one in class has heard of International Talk Like a Pirate Day.
48. Despite what the professors tell you, there IS such a thing as a stupid question.
49. "Why do men have nipples?" is one of them.
50. In case you're wondering, that's not a good thing to ask in class.
51. Maybe it's okay if it's anatomy class.
52. Or art class.
53. Or even Multicultural Diversity.
54. History class? Totally not the right venue for that question.
55. I am the only one in that entire school that believes Oswald acted alone.
56. Nuns are frigging scary.
57. Nuns drink a LOT.
58. "A lot" is two words.
59. Nuns ride around the grounds on ATVs.
60. Nuns will chase students out of the chapel.
61. Even if you were taking artsy pictures for art class.
62. Nuns can smell Catholic.
63. You don't smell Catholic.
64. It is never acceptable to call St. Francis "Frankie".
65. Also not a good idea to screw up the word "Sacrament" and accidentally say "Sacrilege".
66. Even if you're not Catholic.
67. Ignorance is no excuse.
68. It is entirely not necessary to read the textbooks.
69. When the professor says seven to ten pages, five and a half will work just fine.
70. The deer that are wandering the grounds are very aggressive.
71. Never step off the path to take a picture of a deer.
72. A deer lowering his head, exposing his antlers, and stomping his foot is a pretty terrific sign that you should leave the area.
73. Nuns will take rocks from a nearby stream and build a monument to Mary at the top of a hill.
74. They will then take garbage lids and sled down that same hill.
75. While in full habits.
76. I kid you not.
77. It is entirely possible to procrastinate on a seven page research paper, only begin research two days before class, and write the actual paper the night before class at 2:00 in the morning, and still get a good grade.
78. Content isn't worth any points. If the professor can read the paper, it's an instant A.
79. Seriously, spelling counts.
80. Grammar counts more.
81. At least learn the difference between "Your" and "You're".
82. Even though those two words sound the same, they are not.
83. Arguing with the professor about how "deity" is actually pronounced "DAY-IH-TEE" not "DEE-IH-TEE" is futile.
84. Even if you know the Latin root of the word and can trace the etymology of it.
85. Webster says it is "dee-ih-tee", and that is final.
86. The Discovery Channel counts as a credible source.
87. Mythbusters does not.
88. Time Warp does.
89. CSI is a joke.
90. Police officers do NOT have a quota of traffic tickets that they have to give out.
91. They really don't.
92. So stop using it as an excuse.
93. Saying that your major is criminal justice really makes people take you seriously.
94. Up until they ask if you want to "do that CSI stuff".
95. Non-criminal justice majors just don't understand how stupid CSI is.
96. Never mention CSI in any criminal justice class.
97. Unless you want to stop the lecture and take a nap.
98. I've learned way more things in college than I thought I had.
99. Textbooks are a conspiracy to get you to pay obscene amounts of money for something you won't actually read.
100. And they make new editions every year so you can't sell them back.
101. Really. There is NO QUOTA of traffic tickets that police officers have to fill.

But moooooom....

2009-10-04T20:28:00.001-04:00

I don't wanna write about the juvenile delinquency system. I wanna write about werewolves!!

Creativity for sale?

2009-10-02T15:25:00.002-04:00

Okay, so. I just got off the phone with my aunt, who is a freelance author. She writes childrens stories. A few have been published in magazines, and there was talk about getting a childrens novella published. Well, anyway, she's been writing this short story. You know... one of those picture book types where the sentence structure is like "See spot run. Run, Spot, run." Very simple. Except she can't think of a title. So what does she do? Calls to bounce ideas off of me.

No problem. I'm always willing to help.

Just last night I was helping Tari come up with more fanfiction ideas, complete with a crash course in Abnormal Psychology. I was helping her come up with her characters personality, the basic plot, along with the technical terminology she'd need.

Again, no problem at all.

But here I am thinking.... why in the heck am I supplying ideas to other people, and not using them on my own?

I may have worded that in a funky way. Not like I'm NOT going to supply title ideas or iron out fanfiction plots for people. But seriously? I'm sitting here at the computer trying to work on a paper about the medieval histories of the hurdy gurdy and hammered dulcimer while people like my aunt and Tari are happily working on their own creative projects that I'm helping along. Aw, come on, I want some creative energy for me, too!! :(

Again, still not explaining myself very well. It sounds like I'm saying "Stupid aunt... stupid Tari... taking MY ideas while I'm sitting here WORKING...." That's not it. It's more like "Hey... why am I not using my creative genius on my own stuff?" Like I feel like I'm letting my writing sit and rust while my ideas go cheat on me. Like...

Oh. Like the talents. In Matthew. Heh. Like singing. Letting it just sit and rust when--

Well, I think I just had an epiphany. XD

FAIL.

2009-09-14T10:06:00.002-04:00

Well that was just an epic FAIL.

Well, a fail. Not an epic one.

Crap. The paper I had to write for today's class was the one that had to be four or five pages. TOMORROWS class is THREE or FOUR. And my professor gets very picky about his papers being four SOLID pages, and not three pages and a paragraph, like mine is. But the class starts in an hour, and it's too late to fix now, because I have to work on the paper that is due tomorrow that I haven't even LOOKED at yet, and I can't ask for an extension because he doesn't give any, and besides, I have a mid-term on Thursday in a class where I haven't even opened the book yet, because I was too bloody busy writing the paper that is due today!!

GAH!!

*shuts eyes* Just repeat the mantra, Rio. Repeat it.

I'll never work retail again. I'll never work retail again. I'll never work retail again...

Overstepped the line

2009-09-08T21:48:00.004-04:00

I've said it before, I'll say it again. Science fiction doesn't stay fiction for long.

http://zombietime.com/john_holdren/

Pardon my French, but you can't make this shit up.

Todays news...

2009-09-06T18:32:00.003-04:00

Thank you, Rick, for that weather forecast.

Now on to the evening news.

Earlier this afternoon, a pair of tall boots collided with an innocent pair of pumps on the runway. The two collided so hard, that they fused together. Police were nearby, and a shootout ensued. The culprit was shot with the police forces newest weapons. We heard this account from a bystander who saw the whole thing.

Happy birthday, Harry

2009-08-22T22:47:00.002-04:00

You know that scene in Harry Potter? It's in the first movie. It's Harry's birthday, only his idiot family isn't going to acknowledge it at all. They've moved him to that stupid ol shack, and he is sitting on the floor. In the dust, he draws a birthday cake that says "Happy birthday, Harry", complete with candles. Then he blows on the dust, and it all scatters.

Well, happy birthday, Rio.

Each year I get reminded that I've only got one friend in the world (well, in real life, anyway. If I could invite all my internet friends, I'd have a bunch of crazy people to hang around with :)). I sorta have a birthday tradition of going to a baseball game. My mom and dad and I go, plus my best friend. Then sometimes my grandma comes, but she can't make it this year, so my sister is coming instead. Sounds fun, sure. Last minute, my best friend calls to say that she has to work tomorrow and can't come. Sad. Well, we can work around this, yeah? She works until 6:00, and that's when the game starts. So she could totally come a little late, no problem. Nah, she doesn't want to do that. I asked if she wanted to come by before work for just cake. Nope. Can't do that either. Know why? She's on a diet.

I just got pwned by a diet. Lovely.

Now, I mean, I get it. She has all sorts of bills and things to pay, and she needs any extra money she can get. I'm not mad at her at all. I'm not even mad about getting dumped for a diet. It's just kinda sad that this birthday is already going belly up. I mean, I'm going to be 20. Adding on another decade. Shouldn't this be one of those big party birthdays?

Also, tomorrow is Sunday. That means church. Not like church is going to ruin my birthday, but my grandmother is. Now, this isn't the one that sometimes comes to baseball games. This is the other one. The one that we don't invite to reunions and things. Now, I could do my best to describe her personality, but I would fail. You don't know her until you've spent an hour in the car with her. In a nutshell, she is the most selfish person you will ever meet, and she acts like a four year old. EXACTLY like. There are no private conversations around her. If I am talking to my dad, looking straight at him, talking in a lower voice so that I'm not projecting to the whole dinner table, Grandma is STILL listening in on the conversation, assumes that I'm talking to her, and puts in her two cents. Now, her two cents are NEVER "Oh, really? That's an interesting story. Let me ask a few questions about it so you can continue telling this hilarious story!" She responds with, "Oh that reminds me of the time that I ..... me.... we.... I.... I.... me.... I....". CONVERSATION HIJACKING. That's it. That's what she does.

ANYWAY. So, I get all Sunday morning with her. AND she is coming to the house for dinner. AND she's probably going to sing to me. She's got the worst singing voice ever, but she thinks she has the best, and can't fathom why anyone would want her to shut up, because of course we all LIVE to hear what is going to come out of her mouth next.

Yeah. Anyway. So far, not going so great. Heh. I kinda wish this was my 21st, because I'm going to need a few shots of Jack to get me through this one, eh?

Ack. School starts on Monday, as well. Fun.

Okay, well, let's just remember that next year is going to be the good birthday. Dad is taking me to Nashville. Since I'll be turning 21, I could get into Tootsies, which is a pretty good place to have a first drink. Lots of loud country music, and line dancing... great fun. Maybe that one will make up for this one.

The Idiot's Guide to Cooking: Written by an idiot

2009-08-20T15:45:00.004-04:00

So, there's like NOTHING to eat in this house. Well, there is, but it's all in pieces. We have corn starch and olive oil and baking sugar and all natural chicken stock, but nothing like... a can of ravioli or a frozen pizza. So, there's enough ingredients to make a delicious meal of steak and spices and what not, but someone with MY cooking skills doesn't have the slightest idea of what to do with them.

OH LOOK! BISQUICK! I've got milk and eggs! Pancakes!

Yeah. No. Have I ever told you about the time that I burned a lunchable pizza in the microwave? What's worse, is that I did it twice.

So here's me attempting to make pancakes. Heh.

Step One: Grease the pan. Easy. However, tip for the beginner, when spraying the non stick cooking spray, make sure the nozzle is pointed at the PAN, and not your NOSE. Well, at least stuff won't stick to my glasses for a while. Now, when you actually figure out which way the nozzle is pointing, you also have to get the distance right. See, too close, and the spray just plops down on one spot in a really thick, quarter-sized spot. Too far away, and you won't have to worry about things sticking to your kitchen curtains. This process seems to be trial and error.

Step Two: Add ingredients. Stir. Don't stir too fast. Things tend to flop out of the bowl.

Step Three: Place pan on heat. Pour in 1/4 cup of mix. Let cook until edges are dry. Flip. Cook until golden. Uh... yeah. Sure. Except that the heat is unspecified. Too hot, and you wind up with... well, ash. At least the fire alarm didn't go off. Not hot enough, and it doesn't cook well enough, and you go to flip it, and it breaks in half, and splatters into little pancakelets that then promptly turn into, well, ash. Also, the heat thing is sorta trial and error as well. Heat on high to get the pan warmed up. Heat on low to cool the pan down after the charbroiled pancake. Heat on medium because of the pancake that fell apart and splattered. Run out of pancake mix without having ever figured out what the heat setting should be.

Step Four: Clean up. At this point, there will be little splatters of charred pancakelets scattered around the floor, alongside splatters of batter that flew off the measuring cup when you were smacking the measuring cup trying to get all the batter out. Congratulations. The batter is out. If there are any people in the house besides yourself, or even a very talkative parrot, you should probably resist the urge to chant "Hey, batter batter batter...."

All in all, I'm pretty darned sure that, while cooking, I look like Lucille Ball or Amanda Bynes. Maybe I should start off by making ice.

Evil incarnate.

2009-08-14T20:33:00.001-04:00

Swans are evil.

A pair of flannel leather gloves??

2009-08-12T13:30:00.002-04:00

Long live Kal Skirata, and death to that stupid Clone Wars cartoon.

http://karentraviss.typepad.com/blog/2009/08/end-of-one-era-start-of-another.html

Bring me my Verp.

Disclaimer

2009-07-30T13:51:00.003-04:00

As a warning to my grand total of TWO readers, there will be cursing in this blog post, 'cause I'm angry. I'll try to keep it down, but I make no promises.

So, I've just discovered that my school has a blog feature. Not just for individual people (i.e. this blog is mine and no one elses), but... sort of a mass blog feature. So, some guy named John posts a blog about how he would like to start up an organization for students that would like it to be legal to carry concealed firearms on campus. Now, of course, this is only for people that have a permit for that, so it's not like anyone and everyone can start carrying around guns. He asks for opinions.

NEVER a smart idea. I gotta tell you, college students are idiots. Maturity levels are zero.

Some guy that calls himself DK responds. Does he say "I don't think weapons should be allowed on campus"? Of course not. He says (and I quote) "Funny how your respect for life doesn't seem to extend beyond fetuses."

Well, who brought THAT into the conversation? DK proceeds to hijack the blog. I HATE people that do that. See, blogs are the personal soapbox of the person who writes them. When you comment on a blog, you are speaking to the person that wrote it, not to all the people that read it. But when people hijack a blog, they camp out and watch all the comments, replying to every one of them as if it was their own blog. DK was doing this.

He continues on by saying that he doesn't think that guns should be banned, and neither does President Obama.

Nice. I like the subtle use of liberal politics, and the use of the title. Makes it sound like we're supposed to care. Not just Obama, but PRESIDENT Obama.

DK then copies an article in its entirety and posts it in the comments. Pardon me, I say article. This wasn't an article, but an opinion piece. Hardly qualifies as an unbiased source.

John takes every one of DK's so called "points" and calmly responds to each of them with logic, without losing his temper.

DK responds again, saying that John is stupid, because he says he is pro-life, but he owns a fur coat and supports capital punishment. (Remind me some day to bring out my argument for that.)

Really, what is is about the internet that makes people assholes? These are people that would never say this stuff to anyone's face, but they feel that they can type it out because no one will know who they are. This is the same reason why Venice had to ban wearing masks in public. It gave people too much anonymity, and they were acting like idiots. I don't see why internet arguments NEVER stay on topic. I mean, the blog started out as gun control, and DK swoops in and turns it into a personal-insult-fest, using EVERY one of John's political views as ammunition. I mean, I would hope that I'm mature enough to listen to someone's opinion, disagree with it, give reasons as to why I disagree, and admit when I do agree with them. But people are so defined by Left or Right wing, that they figure you have to have the complete and total opposite opinion. Why can't we all be in the freaking center aisle??

Hey look. I only cursed once. Yay me!

You're kidding.

2009-07-30T11:36:00.003-04:00

Just saw it in the newspaper. There's human trafficking going on, trying to coerce children and adults into sex trade and forced labor.

In my city.

Well, isn't THAT just wizard? You hear about this stuff going on in the movies, but never in real life. Never in this country! It's always elsewhere. I don't know where elsewhere is, but it ain't here.

Oh, and this has been going on for years.

That's about as far as my reaction goes for the moment. I need to go hunting down some more articles about this.

Ew. Soapy.

2009-07-27T14:04:00.000-04:00

I fail to see the appeal of soap operas.

Undelete?

2009-07-25T23:30:00.002-04:00

Blogger has a feature to 'Undelete' a blog? That's awesome...

Pardon me for going all Tao of Rio on you here for a moment... but do you think this possibly has something to do with today's generation? I know, I know. I sound like an old fart. But bear with me for a tick.

1950. You're sitting in your classroom doing your English essay. Supplies: Notebook, pencil, eraser, brain. You write out a few sentences, then go back and read over them. Crap! You accidentally wrote "you're" instead of "your"! Okay, okay, we can fix this. You erase the "you're" and write in the "your". Now you've fixed it, but you can still tell that a mistake was made. There's little faint pencil marks on your paper that your teacher will still be able to read. Shoot. Well, you did fix it, so your grade won't be lowered. Just remember to watch your grammar next time.

2009. You're sitting in your classroom doing your English essay. Supplies: Laptop, internet, wikipedia. Brain optional. You type out a few sentences, grammar be damned. Word underlines your sentence in green. You right click, and it tells you that your sentence is a fragment. Well how are you supposed to fix that? You read over it again, fail to see the problem, then read over it again. Aha! There's the problem. You backspace a few steps, then fill in a few extra words. There. The Microsoft gods are satisfied. Save. Print. There you are! A perfect essay.

Now, the difference between the two is that with people today, mistakes are so easy to fix. Backspace, delete, and undo are your best friends. You can even undelete, apparently. Does that somehow psychologically seep into life?

I can sit in art class, make a mistake, and reach for CTRL+Z. I really do. And when I can't find my other shoe, I think I can start the search function. And this only lasts for a milisecond before I catch myself and laugh, but the point still stands.

Do we willingly make mistakes today because we think they are so easy to fix? Like we can just clear our history, empty the recycle bin and be done with it?

Idiots...

2009-07-25T19:32:00.002-04:00

So, my scene in the One Act plays we did in the Spring semester went very well. Keith, our drama club director, was asked if he would pick two or three scenes to do for the visiting library group on August 6th. Well, that's all lovely and such, but it means I have to work with Kim again.

Back in spring, Kim was directing the scene. She said that we were going to have rehearsal on Thursday night. I told her that I couldn't be there because I had class. She promptly said "I don't care, you have to skip it." Okay, now I understand that college is different from high school, and you can miss a few classes and not have anything to worry about. But this class was an accelerated one. That means that the classes are four hours long, and they go for seven weeks instead of fifteen. So, that's seven classes, minus one for the final, minus another for the midterm. Are you getting what I am saying? That is FIVE CLASSES to learn how the ENTIRE Community Corrections programs work. And if I missed even one of those? I've missed twenty percent of the class. *sigh* But no. According to Kim, drama club is the most important thing that I can do, and I had to miss the class. It was only by the grace of God that our guest speaker didn't show that day and class was dismissed early. Lucky for Kim, actually, because I had no intention of skipping the class.

I also had to work the day of tech rehearsal. I checked with literally EVERY person in my department and NONE of them could take the hours for me. But Kim wouldn't have it. She said that I absolutely had to have the day off. I told her that it was literally impossible. She still didn't care. I didn't get the day off. Tough lemons, eh, Kim?

ANYWAY.

Now that I've established Kim's background, this brings me to my main rant.

We've got this library thing going on, which means we need to rehearse the scene a few more times before we're ready to do it for the library group. Keith sent me an e-mail in about Mid-June. Now, I don't check my student e-mail during the summer. After about a week, Keith realised that he hadn't heard from me, so he called me. Smart man. So I said sure, I'd love to do the scene again.

Keith said I would be rehearsing with Kim, and that she would be in charge of the rehearsal schedule (Oh, yeah. 'cause that worked SO well last time). He also said that she would call me to set up a time.

Kim e-mailed me at the beginning of July. Remember, I don't check my student e-mail. After a week, she e-mailed me again. Another week, another e-mail. Now, she has my phone number IN HER PHONE, and also in the drama club directory. Did she use it? Oh no. That would have been too logical. She sends me a third e-mail. Then a fourth!

The fourth one says "Rehearsal is July 25th at 1:00. I haven't heard from you, so I assume you'll be there."

'I haven't heard from you, so I assume you'll be there'??? SERIOUSLY??

So, today, I'm thinking "Dude. Kim hasn't called me about rehearsal yet. ... dude, did she e-mail me?"

So I check my e-mail at 7:30.

Only to find out that rehearsal was at 1:00.

I mean REALLY? I picked up my phone, and were there any missed calls? No, of course not!! Why would she try to call me? She hadn't heard from me, so obviously I would be there!!

So next rehearsal is on Thursday. I'll be there for that one, but if she's a bitch to me again like she was during the spring show, then I'm not doing the scene.

I've got half a mind to back out right now.

And I don't think I'm gonna do the play in Fall. Kim causes more problems than she's worth.

Oh, seriously?

2009-06-13T01:21:00.002-04:00

You have got to be kidding me. I mean, really. Seriously, dude?

I JUST figured this out. After two semesters of school, and who knows how many papers...

Microsoft Word will generate a Works Cited page for you! It asks all the info, and it fills in what needs to go where! That sucks beyond imagination! And you can even pick your format! It knows APA, MLA, Chicago, among other things! Seriously, dude? Why the hell did I do all of that work??

OMG! We had that quiz on citation pages! I could have just used frigging Word!

GAH!

Well. I know for next year, eh?

InNoWriSu?

2009-06-10T23:41:00.002-04:00

Okay, so I've decided (once again) to actually finish my dragon novel. And I need some sort of drop kick to get my butt in gear.

NaNoWriMo sounds like just the drop kick I need, but there's one problem.

It's in November.

This in turn creates two sub-problems:

November is not now, and by the time it comes around again, my motivation will be gone.

Also, November is smack in the middle of finals at school. I don't want to be sitting at my keyboard writing about dragons when I should be working on my degree.

So, for me, I'm doing InNoWriSu. Individual Novel Writing Summer. It's not national, of course, 'cause it's only me. And it's not a month, it's the summer. Makes sense, yeah? Yeah.

Foiled AGAIN

2009-06-10T01:15:00.001-04:00

Why is it that I can't come up with any idea that Karen Traviss hasn't already beat me to? I swear, I was writing a sci-fi story with a character named Aras... WELL before I ever picked up a Wess'har Wars book.

I was so proud of my little idea about authors vs. nutters! Well, KT beat me to it again...

In the list of ten reasons why writing is a great job...

"3. Your eccentric behaviour is regarded as a sign of creative literary genius: anyone else is just as mad as a box of frogs."

Damn you, KT....

Ironic...

2009-06-08T00:56:00.002-04:00

I'm on Facebook reading flair about procrastinating on writing a novel while I'm procrasinating on writing my novel.

However, in my defense, I have been procrastinating on this novel for the past seven years. But my writing skills have just now got up to the task. Like George Lucas waiting sixteen years to make the Star Wars prequels.

...

Oh, dear Mand'alor, I can't believe I just said that.

I have to go get the meat tenderizer now. My brain needs delicate surgery.

Authors vs Nutters

2009-06-08T00:42:00.001-04:00

Here's one.

If you hear voices in your head, and they all have their own personalities, and they talk to you, and they talk to each other, and they have a mind of their own... you're stark raving bonkers.

However, if you hear voices in your head, and they all have their own personalities, and they talk to you, and they talk to each other, and they have a mind of their own, and you write it down... you are a literary genius.

I'm just saying.

NOWHERE

2009-05-01T21:50:00.003-04:00

Okay, I have found TWO sites that have instructions/tips on how to make vambraces. Only TWO. On the whole of the internet, you're telling me that only TWO people care enough to make vambraces? Deviantart, however, has TONS of pictures of ones that have already been made, yet I don't know where people learned how to make these!

Now, if I wanted to know how to French kiss, I'd find more websites than I could shake a stick at.

Does that tell you something about our society? I bet you medieval knights would trade any of their women for a good piece of armour...

Self quotation

2009-04-29T18:00:00.002-04:00

I said this one to Ara while we were chatting, and there's nowhere I can quote it. Everywhere else I go is crowded with liberals. But this is MY blog, and I can post what I want to.

Obama: Thanks for the tour, George. Now, really, can you get out of my office?
Dubya: Just hang on... I can't remember where I hid my shotgun...
O: *inspecting the decorating* Hey, George? What's this?
W: Eh? That's our Winston Churchill statue. The prime minister of Great Britain gave him to us after September 11th.
O: ... that's nice. Is there a return address?
W: You're going to send him back?
O: Can't have him in my office. He smoked cigars constantly. Smoking is bad.
W: .....
O: Weed is healthful. Everyone does it.
W:... *shrug* *checks under the Resolute desk* Oh HERE it is. I had it taped under here in case of attack. *untapes shotgun* Well. I'm all packed, then. Guess I'll be seeing you.
O: *tosses Winston into a box* Yep. Will you take him to the post office on your way out? Thanks.

To Whom It May Concern...

2009-04-29T17:32:00.002-04:00

Dear England,

Thank you for the tea and Dancing With The Stars. We are still deciding whether American Idol looks good with the drapes or not, but we are sure that we will find a place for it. As a thank you gift, you may have President Obama, however we would like the return of our Winston Churchill bust. We have also decided that we are going to keep Tim Roth and Hugh Laurie. Hope to see you soon.

Sincerely,
Fox Network

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah.

2009-04-28T12:22:00.002-04:00

My oh my, what a wonderful day. [/sarcasm]

So, there's this guy. This totally perfect guy. I mean he is everything I could ever want in a guy, except for one thing -- he isn't interested in me at all. He's known that I like him for a while. Probably a year now. But I'm just not the right girl for him, apparently. He said he'd be willing to be friends, though (which is all a bunch of bull, girls. Don't believe guys that say that stuff).

And the fun part. In March, me, him, and the whole Bible study group went to Florida for spring break. While we were all down there, he started really hitting it off with this girl-- we'll call her Carrie. But see, Carrie already had a boyfriend. But somewhere during that week, she decided that she liked John (that's what we're calling the guy) better. So Carrie dumped her boyfriend so she could have John. She said, however, that she wasn't going to date him right away, because she claims that she dumped her old boyfriend for "spiritual" reasons, which again is a load of crap. So they waited one month. And as of Saturday night, they are officially dating.

Now, the part that makes me feel like a real idiot is that all of this was happening right under my nose. The whole week in Florida, Carrie was all over him. I mean literally. Sitting on him, always having her hands on him, going out of her way to always be near him. They spent every waking moment together-- and then some! On the bus ride back home, they slept all snuggly together-- in plain view, no less. I mean, everyone could see them. And I am the only one that thinks that was HIGHLY inappropriate. Everyone else thinks they're so cute together.

Bitch is blaming God as her reason for breaking up with her old boyfriend! But it was because she found someone more interesting! Why the hell does John think she's not going to do the same thing to him? If some other guy comes along, what's to stop her from breaking John's heart so she can hop on over to the next guy?

And this isn't just me being paranoid. She actually said to me that she left her old boyfriend because she likes John better. In her defense, she doesn't have a clue that I like him, and she thought I'd be rather supportive. Newsflash, bitch.

I feel really stupid right now.

OKAY! Once again, I don't see why I bother with guys. They're all the same. Never again.

Keep talking.

2009-04-01T21:44:00.003-04:00

Maybe if I keep talking, nothing bad will happen, eh? Seems to be my philosophy in life. A little bit Donna Noble, me. "Shouting at the world because no one is listening". Sometimes it seems like the more I talk, the less people hear, you know?

Sometimes the gift of the gab can come in handy, though. I've got this friend who had a tussle with depression a few years ago. Took a whole bottle of pills, but her parents got her to the doctor in time, but she had to stay at the hospital for a few months and what not. Big ordeal. Anyway. They got her out of there and on anti-depressants. She's been fine ever since then (I think. If there have been mini-episodes, they weren't bad enough for me to hear about them.)

But see, there's this guy she really likes. REALLY likes. Like she has said that he's the one she could see herself marrying. They were dating for a while, but his parents didn't approve, so they broke up. About a year later, she still likes him just as much, and she wanted to know if he still likes her. So she asked. He said that he didn't like her in a dating sense, but as a friend. Well, she's crushed. And she's been really bummed since then. She says that it's no big deal, that yeah, she's sad, but she'll get over it. And she's trying to play the brave card again. But today when I saw her, she was really messed up. Just didn't want to talk to anyone, and that is certainly a red flag. She's usually a social butterfly. She updated her Facebook status saying something along the lines of no one understanding her or anything.

Now, as I was reading this, I figure she's just tired and overworked and needs to sleep. I figured I would just leave her be and she'd have everything sorted after she gets some rest. But then I remember the salad. I remember bugging her about that damn salad when she was at my house last time I saw her before the suicidal episode. And I knew something was bothering her, but I didn't ask. I figured if she wanted to talk about it, she would. It was during the next week that I got the phone call about her taking the pills.

So I thought better of leaving her alone, this time. I sent her a text and asked if everything was okay. She said that life really sucks right now, thanks for asking. Well, I didn't like the way that was worded. So I asked what she needed, and she said a vacation away from any guys. So I made up this ridiculous story about us going volcano studying, and that no guys would follow us there. I'm pretty sure she's gone to sleep by now, but it didn't take long for her to sound like she was in a better mood.

Maybe if I keep talking, nothing bad will happen.

Because people ARE that stupid.

2009-02-18T13:55:00.002-05:00

Seriously. I'll be in English--

I'm going to cut myself off right there. Yes, I do have more going on in my life than just English class. But when I'm working on papers for English, I'm at my computer, and I'm typing, and I get ideas that can't fit into the paper, but I still want to write about them, and the only reasonable place to do that is this blog. That's why all I write about recently are my papers. Carry on, then.

--class, and the professor gives three examples of some paragraph. She gives a quote from a made-up source, and then writes three (fake) "student" paragraphs. We get to pick out which ones are good and which ones are not. Meaning, we look to see if everything is cited and quoted properly, and make sure none of the phrases are taken without quoting (as in plagiarism). And they're always REALLY over the top examples. It's like.... seriously, nobody can be that stupid.

So, I have a paper to write for CJST (criminal justice. I don't feel like typing that out every time, so I abbreviated it. Memorize it.). I'm writing about forensic anthropology. Now, that is the subject of the Fox show, Bones. So, there should be lots of interest in the topic, right? No. There is like NOTHING on the internet about forensic anthropology outside of Wikipedia, and we all know that you can't use THAT monstrosity in a paper. So I've got like two PBS articles and one from the Court TV library (which is actually a REALLY awesome resource).

I try running a search on forensic anthropology, and it brings up a student paper. Now, I figure that I'll check out this paper to see what sources she used, and maybe that will point me in the right direction. But while I'm looking at this paper, I might as well read the content, yeah?

OMG.

EVERY. SINGLE. WORD. Is copied and pasted directly from the PBS and Court TV articles. Really. No quotations, not even properly paraphrased. I mean WORD. FOR. WORD. It's like.... seriously? SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE? There is one paragraph that is just.... you know what, I'm just going to show you.

This is the paragraph from the PBS article:

The field of forensic anthropology is relatively new. Although there were famous grisly murders of the 19th century solved through examination of bones and body fragments, it wasn't until the 1930s that the relationship between anthropology and the police was formally acknowledged. The gangland murders of the 1930s forced the FBI to turn to physical anthropologists.

And now the paragraph from the student paper. And I'm not going to give you the link for this one because it has the student's name on it and stuff. So sue me for plagiarism.

The field of forensic anthropology is relatively new.During the 19th century, a few famous gruesome murders were solved through the examination of bones and body fragements, but it was not until the 1930s that the relationship was formerely acknowledged between anthropology and the police force (PBS). Anthropology proved to be an asset to the FBI in the gangland murders in the 1930s.

I mean.... really. Nice try, but no. Actually.... that wasn't even a nice try. That was just....

I mean, seriously, I just wish I knew what grade the student got on this. I'd have flunked her ass right out of that school.

HA!

2009-01-13T22:36:00.002-05:00

I TOLD you that Tony couldn't be a bad guy. I just KNEW it.

My two cents...

2009-01-12T17:49:00.003-05:00

I think that Tony is still working for CTU (that is supposedly disbanded...), and is not actually a terrorist. See, he didn't take whats-his-name's kid when they raided the car, even though that would have been a BRILLIANT bargaining chip (fix this circuitboard, or we'll hurt your daughter!). And with redirecting the planes at the last second. That would have been a great demonstration, eh? Isn't the point of a terrorist to spread terror? So, yeah. I think he's working undercover. WAY undercover.

Also, I think the FBI leak is either Whats-her-name that has been tagging along with Jack, or that other chick in the purple shirt and glasses. She sorta reminds me of Chloe. I like her lots, but I also liked Nina in season 1.

So that's where we're at so far.

Whoa.

2008-12-03T08:46:00.003-05:00

For a temporary moment, my faith in humanity is restored.

Now THIS is like MySpace for cool people.
http://communityofveterans.org/

I mean, really. The war in Iraq doesn't end just because we've got a new President Elect (God save our souls). Coming home can be a harder transition than going overseas. I applaud whoever thought of this website. Way to go, people. I am a little more optimistic about humanity right now.

Oh, and by the way, it's veterans only. Nice try.

No no no no no no no no...

2008-12-01T18:55:00.002-05:00

Dude, no no no. It's gone. All of it. It's just...

Well, that damned printer did it again. That thing is the devil, I tell you, and I want it out of my house. I can't tell you how many times it has broken my computer, but this time it has gone too far.

See, I have my laptop (Jack Sparrow), but there's not much memory, so I store all my pictures and my stories and things like that on my desktop computer (Barbossa). Well, my brother was here, and he made sure that my dad's laptop could talk to the printer. That's all well and fine. Then, for some reason, after my brother left, Barbossa decided that he didn't want to start up. So dad tried to make him start up, but apparently chose the wrong option or something.... and suddenly, Barbossa thinks he's a brand new computer straight out of the box.

My games are gone. Whatever. I've got the install discs. I'll just have to start over in Knight of the Old Republic.

My programs are gone. Okay. I can download them again.

Dude.

My pictures are gone. My concerts are gone, my videos that were too big to go on the laptop are gone, my pictures from the zoo are gone, most of my trips, my drawings that have since been given away, my brother's wedding, my nephew... gone.

My stories are gone. Luckily I've saved most of my clone trooper stories, but the original ones that came before the boys had established their character... those building blocks? Gone. Some of my other original stories are gone... Allegiance is gone. I don't think I've posted that one on the internet. I've got hard copy of that one, though. But there were other chapters that are gone now.

And Ray. I had a folder of Ray. The very few pictures I could find, two news articles, and an obituary. Pictures from the funeral as well. That's what gets at me the most. Pictures can be forgotten, stories are just fiction. Ray was real. And I do NOT want to forget about him. I'm hoping that I've got that folder on Jack, as well. If not, I imagine I'll cry for a week. Really.

So, for Christmas, I want a package of rewritable DVDs which I can backup my picture files with.

Oh yeah. Did I mention that all the system restore files are gone, too?

This may be blasphemy, especially coming from me, but I'm contemplating... well... Mac...

You've all heard by now, but...

2008-12-01T09:38:00.003-05:00

Yeah. Hardly the first person to mention this story, but I must say...

Customers SUCK. You people are SAVAGES. And here is the proof.

http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2008/11/29/20081129WalmartDeath1129.html

Seriously. "Someone died". "I'm not leaving, I've been in line since yesterday morning!"

I'm sorry, but I'd have opened up a can of serious ass-kicking if one of my coworkers were killed and those damned shoppers couldn't get their heads out of their rears long enough to look around and see that there's actually OTHER PEOPLE in the world, and no amount of marshmallow shooters is worth someone's life.

Seriously, I'm experiencing a great hate for my fellow citizens right now. Why is it so important? Why do you have to be the first one in the store? Where did this sense of entitlement come from? Somewhere along the way, we've taught these children (who then supposedly "grow up" into adults) that they can have anything they want, whenever they want. It's just easiest to give it to them to shut them up, I guess. People have no patience, and absolutely no concern for their fellow man. NONE. KT would be ashamed of you.

OKAY! Game time. This is your challenge for the week. Give something away. Take something that is distinctly YOURS and give it away to someone. Doesn't have to be something huge. It can be part of your lunch at school, money for coffee (don't let them pay you back!), a book, or a new car. Just give away SOMETHING. And it can't be something that you've just found. Say, if you found a quarter in the parking lot and you gave that to someone for coffee money, it doesn't count. Has to be from YOUR posessions.

Go!